I’m watching Gilmore Girls, and I’m on the last season. Lane is very pregnant with twins, and her husband and her mom are constantly buzzing about her, being overly concerned with her pregnancy, talking about this and that about the babies. They put her drums in the closet to make room for the crib. My heart dropped with hers when she opened the closet and saw her drums stacked up.
Lane is 22-years-old. She’s had the kind of life where she had to hide CDs in floorboards from her mom; the kind where she changed clothes when she got to school because her mom would never approve. She got married and pregnant the first time she had [very terrible] sex. She played in her band, and that was her life. She’s confused as to how to keep her sense of self when people only see her as a baby incubator. She tries so hard to keep who she is close to her, but no one else seems to want to.
I always feels so bad for her character when I watch this show. I see a lot of myself in her: her rebellious spirit and love of music. I’m not sure if I feel bad because I know how difficult it is to lose one’s sense of self when one becomes a parent, or if it’s because she hasn’t lived much and I really want her to. I want her to experience life, and the world. Maybe I want that for her because I haven’t done much with mine, and I’m putting too much of myself in a tv show character.
I tried to explain this to Jacob, but he seemed upset. Sometimes I think that he thinks I resent him, or my life, but I don’t. I have a good life. I just understand what she is going through – after all, I also had a baby at 22, and I know what it’s like to be forgotten as a person. Transitioning from being who you are to sharing who you are with another human being is tough. It’s tough for everyone, no matter one’s age or situation.
I’m interested to see what they did with Lane’s character when the new Gilmore Girls series on Netflix when it airs next year. I think she will be content, even if she struggles sometimes. We all do as parents.
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