My list of celebrity crushes is growing, which is not in the norm for me (Nick Cave, Elvis Costello [kind of weird], and Henry Rollins].
I went through a sexless phase for a few years in which I wasn’t attracted to anything or anyone and barely had a sex drive. Now that I have my period back and I’m not breastfeeding or nursing, things are changing. It feels weird. Before I had kids, I had an insatiable sex drive. I definitely am not back to that (thank fuck), but I kind of have one, sometimes. I guess that’s good new for my husband. I’m usually too tired though. I seriously am busy from 6:30 in the morning until 7:00 at night. It’s exhausting. I have barley played Fallout 4 because I’m just too tired after everything is done.
I read a really good essay for one of my classes (“Why the Shirelles Mattered” by Susan J. Douglas) and I want moooore (I have a copy saved to my computer, if you drop me your email and have an interest in reading it, I can send it to you). I love reading about music and how it reflects society. I am just obsessed with music. Jacob says that I should have been a music ethnologist, but there only program he knew about was in Ohio. I don’t really want to go to Ohio. I mean, I might be going to Iowa for a master’s program but I’m hesitant to do that too. I don’t know. I have to family to think about.
Sometimes it is difficult to reconcile what I want, and what’s best for my family. I don’t entirely know what I want from life sometimes, but I knew a family was one of those things. Now that I have that, it’s hard for me to figure the other stuff out. Maybe I never will, I don’t know.
I had a lot to write about but I’ve forgotten most of it, really.
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