Well, I guess this is my introduction entry. Some of you may remember me from My Deer Diary, back when I liked to document my kills. I am a proficient marksman and a pretty decent blacksmith. Here's a selfie I took the other day while visiting Whiterun:
Whoa there, ladies! Calm down. As much as I'd love to court all of you, I am a married Breton (1/8 wood elf, according to my granddad). My wife is a lovely Khajiit named Starla, a passionate but jealous feline woman who you wouldn't want to tangle with. After a passionate session of love making last night, my back is raw and absolutely shredded.
We have a kid named Bart. He's adopted, like most Skyrim kids. I used to be fertile, but then I took an arrow to the groin. So adoption was the only real option for us. But there are so many orphans running around these days that adoption almost feels like a civic duty anyway. We love the little rapscallion, and he's always giving me some cute and random gift when I get home from a trip.
As stated in my book description, I reside in Windhelm, but spend most of my time on the road trying to sell my wares. Leather armor, mostly. It's not the most lucrative business, in fact most of the merchants try to screw me over royally. Except for Belethor - we've been drinking buddies as long as I can remember - so he usually gives me a decent exchange rate. I'm headed out to Markarth in the morning - Holy Talos is that a long fucking trip. And you have to keep your eyes open for those crazy-ass Forsworn. I knew a guy who ended up as part of some bone necklace.
As much as I love being a blacksmith, I often long for something new. So I stopped in at the Bard's College the last time I was passing through Solitude. Talked to some guy named Viarmo about admission. He told me that admission required me traveling to a haunted Nordic tomb to retrieve some missing poem verses. He even admitted that he fully expected I would not make it out alive. I laughed in his face. Fuck dude, I want to learn to play the lute. I'm not suicidal. Let some dumbass try that death trap spelunking shit.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to learn the lute through a correspondence course. Not entirely sure it's legit. The elf that signed me up threw in some moon sugar as a signing bonus. It set me back 50 septims. We'll see if I ever hear back from him.
I keep having this dream that I'm wandering around Skyrim mostly naked except for a loin cloth. Is that normal?
Oh my Akatosh! These boiled creme treats that Starla makes are to die for. I think I'm going to have another. And then I'm going to go for a long jog around Lake Yorgrim to work it off. I need to remember the mudcrab repellant this time. Good night, and blessings of the nine to all of you.
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