Im feeling extremely frustrated. Ross needs to move out, for one thing. His presence is extremely irritating and not at all helpful.
I was planning to try to talk him into moving to Missoula near his brother and his mom. But then I would have absolutely no help with Milo, and Milo is extremely overwhelming. Milo is really difficult to manage on one’s own. And I don’t know anybody in this town. And the people I do know are mostly Mormon and would surely be offended by my life. lol
My throat and my ears and head hurt, Im all congested and icky sick. I hate everything. I had plans this weekend and all of them got cancelled. Now I’m bored and whiny and unhappy.
I’m thinking seriously of moving again in another year. Im kind of hating my school district a lot. We have no prep time, our kids only have specials once every other week, we have to go to library with them, the district requires everyone to use AR, which I don’t like, and there is NO funding for ANYTHING. I have to pay for my own copies, for goodness’ sake. There’s no gym teacher, I have to teach my own PE… which is not something I’m going to be good at. So my class just gets the short end of the stick, there. There is also almost no equipment for the gym, so I have to come up with games and stuff to do with them without any equipment except some hula hoops, a few balls, and jump ropes. AWESOME. BECAUSE I’M NOT A GYM TEACHER. There’s also no like, PA system in there that I can use, and we aren’t allowed to play any dodge ball type games, which are basically the only games I can put together on the fly. I hate it.
Did I mention that I hate it? We have lesson plans already planned out that we have to use, which sucks. I went to school for almost 8 years to get my degree and learn how to do this, and now I don’t get to. It’s shitty. And the lessons they give us are sort of crap, too. The assessments sound nice on paper but in reality make very little sense and don’t actually assess what they’ve asked us to teach. WTF?!
I’m so frustrated. And this town is SO SO SO Mormon. I have not managed to meet any people outside of AJ that aren’t religious and super serious about it. I’m anti-religion, and this is NOT the place for me. I’m feeling really lonely and frustrated and I have very few outlets for this sort of frustration. Furthermore, I am getting paid SHIT. My paychecks are being taxed to fuck, and our insurance is ridiculously shitty, as well. It’s free for me, with like $35 copays for everything (which is high, in my opinion.) but I pay like $400/month to have the kids on my insurance plan, too. They have no other options until Ross moves out and they can qualify for medicaid/state insurance.
I’m just so frustrated.
And irritated.
And lonely.
I don’t have enough money to pay all my bills, let alone stress relief shop. Luckily, groceries are cheap, so I can feed my dang kids at least. Im just so annoyed and everything sucks.
My throat really hurts. Too bad I can’t afford to get my tonsils removed like I’m supposed to. AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH
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