Today had it’s twists and turns, unexpectedly eventful and rife with pathos. Yes, I sidelined coached most of it, but high stress all the same. I have niece issues, not yet resolved daughter issues, GF issues, no not with status of being either a G or an F. All of these things aren’t mine to talk about though I was not given explicit instructions to keep my fat pie hole zipped, and no one says ‘keep your pudgy paw holes off the keyboard.
I just don’t like infringing on people’s privacy unless I don’t like them, the story is funny or explicit instruction regarding the relative openness of my pie hole might be implicit if not explicit. Everyone is alive and doing … doing. Wellness remains to be seen. Nothing any of these strong women can’t handle on their own.
You know how you have these friends who are eminently more qualified at everything and you (meaning me) still have the gold star we were given for learning to tie our own shoelaces? These women can tie your shoelaces before you even show them your bronze star (hey, at least you placed.)
In a fit of compulsion and suckerage I signed up for Graze dot com. Every couple of weeks they send me an eight pack of healthy snacks in little boxes. I empathize little as all their stuff is good enough to want more than a couple of handfuls (I have small hands and one of them still isn’t working right.
At my insistence I have three help-dawgs-paw work appointments. Ok, one I was talked into, one I demanded and one both me and the doc said “why the fuck not? It ain’t what’s gonna kill you.’ Ok, that’s not verbatim. He’s Canadian, he doesn’t say ain’t near as often as city city ordnances proscribe. I imagine when the meter maid move to cite him (yes, the meter maid do most of the citing, true story) he probably makes up for it “Ain’t you the cutest ain’t citer I ain’t related too, so I ain’t gotta worry about baby tails and ain’t taints and ain’t it a shame we ain’t doing it.” I would literally HOL (heh out loud and/or hole with the silent e omitted for common decency.
I’m eating graze black pepper popcorn. Pretty normal compared to the exotic shit like dried kiwi in sweet jalapeno dipping jelly. Ok, so, no dried kiwi, but they do have the shit man. I know what I want to be when I grow up; sweet jalapeno dipping sauce.
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