Would You Rather (Game Time! Join in!) in Entries of Great Significance

Totally stole this from greengrapes..

Many of you enjoyed the lack of poetry (glare..lol) and the questions and answers entry since you got to get to know me and see a bit of my personality. Figured I’d continue on that track and lend you more of me and how I think.

So let’s play… Would You Rather!

Here is the template for all you wild and crazy kids to copy, paste, and answer! Bring it on, bitches! And I mean that in the female dog sense, not in an offensive manner. Naturally..

Section 1 (Random)

1.) Would you rather live one life that lasts 1,000 years or live 10 lives that last 100 years each?

2.) Would you rather use eye drops made of vinegar or toilet paper made from sandpaper?

3.) Would you rather be without elbows or be without knees?

4.) Would you rather experience a sharp pain in your side each time someone says your name or have a bell sound each time you are aroused?

5.) Would you rather have a large 10 inch long belly button that swayed to music or have accordions for legs?

6.) Would you rather have hair nowhere on your body or be very hairy all over and not be able to shave?

7.) Would you rather never be able to speak again or always have to say everything that is on your mind?

8.) Would you rather wear a snow suit in the desert or be naked in Antarctica?

9.) Would you rather change the past or be able to see into the future?

Section 2 (Girly stuff)

1.) Would you rather wear a pushup bra all day long, every day or stiletto heels all day long, every day?

2.) Would you rather get a rash from a poor bikini wax job or have an entire eyebrow accidentally waxed off?

3.) Would you rather go through a whole day with a very visible panty line or with lipstick on your teeth?

4.) Would you rather go through a whole day with your bra’s underwire poking you or have a very bad hair day?

5.) Would you never have painful cramps again or never have to shave again?

Section 3 (More Normal Stuff)

1.) Would you rather email an embarrassing email to your entire company or eat an entire stick of butter?

2.) Would you rather never laugh again or never use your smartphone again?

3.) Would you rather lose $1000 or lose all of your phone contacts?

4.) Would you rather be stung by a jellyfish or give up Facebook for a week?

5.) Would you rather eat the same meal for the rest of your life or never use Instagram again?

6.) Would you rather win a trip to Hawaii or win a free laptop?

So now for the answers! And if you’re brave enough to throw down with me, give me some of your own creations of Would You Rather and I shall answer

them for all the world of the Box of Prose to see.. :)

Onto the festivities!

By the way, I’m going to answer the girly queries, cause I believe in EQUALITY of the sexes.. and cause it’ll be funny.

Section 1 (Random)

1.) Would you rather live one life that lasts 1,000 years or live 10 lives that last 100 years each?

Oh, totally a thousand years. Ten lives for 100? I could end up in some third world country for a century’s worth of slave labor having to hunt down rhinoceros horns. No thanks. I’ll take knowing more, walking off the Bubonic Plague (or gangrene for the inside joke!) and then accumulating a mass fortune enough to truly change the world. And have an awesome house that looks like a castle and has a moat. Cause, dude, who doesn’t want a moat surrounding their faux fiber optic laden castle?

2.) Would you rather use eye drops made of vinegar or toilet paper made from sandpaper?

Uh, well, they have butt paste, right? No, seriously, they do. We have ads for Boudreaux’s Butt Paste here in Louisiana. I guess cause so many people get

Firefly in the hiz-ouse!

3.) Would you rather be without elbows or be without knees?

I hate my knees, most should know this by now. Together they look like Legolas’ bow fully notched and ready to rock. Besides, elbows means I can still rebound the basketball and give a good sharp one to the face of my opponent. I mean, uh, elbows so I can follow proper etiquette and never let them rest on the table whilst eating..?

4.) Would you rather experience a sharp pain in your side each time someone says your name or have a bell sound each time you are aroused?

I’ll be there with bells on. I would be the perfect employee for the Salvation Army person collecting money at Christmas time.. lol

“Mommy, why is a bell ringing but it’s completely still and he’s not swinging it?”

5.) Would you rather have a large 10 inch long belly button that swayed to music or have accordions for legs?

You had me at “a large 10 inch long” something. I stopped reading after that.

What? Cause I write poetry means I’m not a guy?

6.) Would you rather have hair nowhere on your body or be very hairy all over and not be able to shave?

No hair thanks. I’m low maintenance. Besides, I don’t particularly want to get shot by all these ridiculous Bigfoot hunters. How do these people keep getting television shows?!

7.) Would you rather never be able to speak again or always have to say everything that is on your mind?

Say everything that is on my mind, cause it’d mostly be comedy gold as I’m absurdly adorable and really funny.. plus can ANY of you imagine Brian not being able to talk?! I went third person. That just happened.

8.) Would you rather wear a snow suit in the desert or be naked in Antarctica?

Snow suit in the desert, cause I’d somehow swing that into being sponsored by UnderArmour and I’d hire someone to follow me around with a personal air conditioning unit.

Gotta have a hustle, people! Hustle!

9.) Would you rather change the past or be able to see into the future?

See into the future. Cause then I can see when they can make a time machine, then I’ll grab Michael J. Fox, go 88 miles per hour (sorry for all you kilo people out there, I’m from ‘Merica!) and change the past. I’d change the world one lottery ticket at a time..

Section 2 (Girly stuff)

1.) Would you rather wear a pushup bra all day long, every day or stiletto heels all day long, every day?

Pushup bra. First of all, I’d get more attention from the ladies cause girls notice the little things, cause guys don’t check out other guy’s chests, and stilettos sound like being punched in the nuts painful.. and nuts be fragile.

2.) Would you rather get a rash from a poor bikini wax job or have an entire eyebrow accidentally waxed off?

Uhm, eyebrow, cause I don’t want anything Brazilian coming near me unless it’s a lovely lass.. no Brazilian waxing, no Brazilian jiu-jitsu.. just.. no.

Besides, one eyebrow makes you seem intimidating cause there’s only scary reasons to only have one eyebrow. I’d be frightening, dude!

Stop rolling your eyes. I could be scary.

3.) Would you rather go through a whole day with a very visible panty line or with lipstick on your teeth?

Can’t have a panty line with boxers, so instead of using that as an easy out let’s Darkwing Duck this thing and “Let’s get dangerous.” So. Lipstick on my teeth. It makes it appear that I didn’t just kiss her, I devoured her lips briefly in a fit of passionate and climactic ecstasy.

Or I’m really a bad kisser. Either way.

(Also, Lipstick On My Teeth sounds like the name of a band doesn’t it? Anyway..)

4.) Would you rather go through a whole day with your bra’s underwire poking you or have a very bad hair day?

A very bad hair day since I’m already wearing a pushup bra and the underwire removal which most girls I know just do because it’s easy and removes the pain (and some do so right in front of me which is equally bizarre and hot as hell) and let’s face it – my hair is never good anyway. So yeah, bad hair baby! Besides, baseball caps exist for a reason, and it’s not cause people like baseball..

5.) Would you never have painful cramps again or never have to shave again?

If I never have to shave again I don’t see the downside. I’ve had more cramps than a Catholic school girl convention, and I’d rather not revist them.

(The cramps, not the Catholic school girls. Oh, Britney Spears, how we miss you. Did I really just say that? Anyway. .)

Section 3 (More Normal Stuff)

1.) Would you rather email an embarrassing email to your entire company or eat an entire stick of butter?

I’m going with the email, cause let’s face it, half of mine that aren’t intended to be at all embarrassing or revealing turn out that way. Besides, a whole stick of butter? Who am I? Paula Deen?!

2.) Would you rather never laugh again or never use your smartphone again?

Fuck. That. Phone.

Laughter is medicine, and I’m a doctor. winks

3.) Would you rather lose $1000 or lose all of your phone contacts?

Everyone in my phone added up does not equate to losing 20 bucks, so I’m sorry, I’ll settle for just being puzzled when you text me and only digits without a name accompanying it appear on my screen.

4.) Would you rather be stung by a jellyfish or give up Facebook for a week?

I would bring a smooth jar of Skippy (Uptown Funk for the win!) and go at it with the jellyfish, but then I realized that I’d still get stung even if the jellyfish ended up as a PB&J, so Facebook. Hell, I sometimes forget about Facebook for a week until people bother me. Er, I meant until people delightfully engage me in discourse!

5.) Would you rather eat the same meal for the rest of your life or never use Instagram again?

Wait, I literally just started an Instagram (I blame grapes! The person, not the fruit. That’d be weird. Yet funny.) and I have to give it up? And I’m totally a routine eater. I don’t get to eat out much because I cannot afford to right now so I usually order the same thing since I enjoy it and know I like it and look forward to it, but for like ever? Forever ever? Ever ever ever? Seeya, Instagram. So, uh, now.. Someone explain to me tumblr?!?

6.) Would you rather win a trip to Hawaii or win a free laptop?

Okay, do I get a return ticket from Hawaii? And do I get to choose whose laptop I get?

Ah, screw it. Pineapple and rum for me with a tiny umbrella on the beach, please! Hell, I might even try coconut water..

Alright, gang, if you did not laugh, giggle, and smile at some point throughout this here little survey, then I’m not sure we can still be friends. So!

Do this! Either post it or preferably answer them all in comments to me cause I love it when I login and see double digit numbers next to my comments

inbox. And feel free to pose your own ”Would You Rather” options to me and I’ll reciprocate!

Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!

May you always find your smile.

Always,
Brian

Last updated October 02, 2015