So can you believe I’m coming on here just one day after I wrote the previous entry to tell you about some things that I just found out about Mr. Perfect? I know. It kills me, too.
So look. We are in the getting-to-know-you stage, and boy, there’s something to be said for being upfront that I’m thankful for, and as you know, guy from previous entry is awesomely upfront.
Yet I seem to have found out more than I bargained for in our latest meeting. Take the following, uh…confessions?
1. I am sometimes grumpy - so much so that I need to be alone for a few days. Ok, look. We all have this in us, and we all want to be alone for a few days. That’s totally understandable. But to have someone verbally point this out before even really knowing the other person is, well, concerning. Especially when it’s followed by, “I don’t know what triggers it, and I don’t normally know how long it will last…” And yes, I’m sure I could have delved further and questioned this ad nauseam, but a little of this kind of statement goes a long way. Bottom line, grumpy boy. And didn’t I just spend the better part of a YEAR with sad, in-a-bad-place boy? Why yes, I did.
The other thing about this comment is, I’m not surprised by it considering the cold or cough or whatever illness he has gotten over the last week or so. He admitted to being a baby about being sick, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t downright…well…pussy about it. Come ON. We all get a cold and we all have coughs and we fight through it. We don’t turn it into a major illness deserving of flowers, do we? DO WE? Please tell me no.
2. I am financially unstable. Okay, he didn’t actually put it this way, BUT he kinda did! On the night when I’d asked him to meet me regarding the work contact stuff and before I even knew he liked me, I’d mentioned trying to plan a trip to Argentina. Long story, but we actually talked about maybe going together (as friends) because I was thinking about finding someone to travel with instead of going solo. So we’d sent a few texts/emails back and for the about the trip - I send him links to a few ideas online - one being the least expensive tour, noting how affordable it was. And he told me last night that he would have trouble paying for anything until December when he was planning on getting himself out of some credit card debt or financial situation of some sort. He went on to tell me about the difficulties he’s had in the past. Nothing horrible like financial ruin - just more along the lines of, I’m broke, a bit in debt, and I have no savings. Those are horrible words to someone like me who is so careful with finances and making sure I pay off all debts immediately. I scrimp and I save and I make sure to have a cushion. I may need that cushion soon, in fact. But the fact of the matter is, if I lost my job tomorrow, I’d be fine for well over a year…unless I had to financially support some guy.
3. I had an affair with a married woman. Guys, this is the deal breaker, I’m afraid. No, the dude’s not married and never has been, but the fact of the matter is, he clearly doesn’t respect boundaries, or marriage vows or whatever. And the very worst thing is, he told me that while the sex only happened twice, he still keeps in touch with this married woman. He tells me that he’s offering support of whatever kind - helping her “figure it out.”
I feel awful thinking about how I should just stop right here and now and cut our losses (which are very few/little), but the fact is, he has no clue that these things have ripped my heart out and opened old wounds and I no longer have butterflies. I’m kind of creeped.
What do I do now?
XO,
GS
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