IT’S 3:31 on a Thursday, I’m 22 years old, married and currently staying with my mom. Sure it’s not the most enticing start, but bare with me.
I say ENOUGH right now, sooner than i expected might i add. I originally intended on spilling the beans about my failing marriage, which is why i’m at my mothers house in the first place. However, I felt the need to stop because right out the gate I’m doubting myself, my writing, and if this is even a good idea. The feelings of frustrations are creeping over me even now. I’ve rewritten the same paragraph for almost 20 minutes now, and already i feel like giving up. I have so many dreams, so many aspirations, yet none of them seem achievable. I love writing, music, singing, dance, drama and Jesus. I strayed back and ran from them all, so afraid of failing, so afraid that i’ll never be enough.
I wonder how many of us are that self critical, that self conscious that we put ourselves down on such a normal basis that its natural. There’s nothing wrong with a good critique, or constructive criticism, but you shouldn’t worry yourself to perfection. I don’t believe that perfection is possible, unless of course you are God, or you are talking about a perfect score on a math test, yet I’ve found myself battling this complex most of my natural life. We all want to be great at something. Greatness does exist without perfection. Somewhere in my mind i’ve felt that the only way to achieve greatness, is to be perfect, that if I’m not perfect i won’t be great. A qualifier of greatness is not having never made a mistake.
Let’s say ENOUGH right now together. I don’t know where this entry meets any of you. I don’t know if you’re as afraid of failure as I am, or if you’ve been too discouraged to try. What ever the case may be, we don’t have to continue this way. I’m going to keep writing, because it’s what i love to do. I’m saying enough to my fear of failure. Success doesn’t come cheaply, if we fall let’s get back up. If we fail, let’s try again. When it gets hard let’s endure.
TC
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