Yesterday was a hard day, but it had ups as well as downs. I was up late too watching Netflix TV. I’m sure I’ve bitched enough about the stupid rhetorical screenwriter trick of removing contractions to make a character sound either alien, intelligent or professional, I both won’t and will not. I sort of want to bitch about the number of shows that begin with a voice over summarizing the premise, I’m not sure if they do that in the originals, but it’s a lot more tiresome than, say, a theme song.
One thing that does always crack me up, and, um, a warning here I guess, is how on network shows and pg movies, people have sex with their underwear on. I know it’s a censor thing, it also works better but is cheesier when they just have sheets up to their necks. Even in R rated shows and cable where they show tits and ass you don’t see things like penetration and so it’s a bit contrived anyhow and it’s rare in an American show to see full frontal, even more so if it’s a man.
Having sex with your underwear on is kind of kinky, especially in private in a bedroom. Some articles of clothes are fetish things like high heels or pantyhose, but, the hose are either removed or, um, modified before sex. This is all assuming one isn’t intentional dry humping or just rubbing up against one another, but actually having some form of sex.
Why kinky? The elastic acts a bit like a cock ring, either squeezing the vas deferens or restricting the return of blood flow or both. Sort of changes the narrative of suspending disbelief in a TV show. Usually the guy is wearing boxers and the woman is wearing a bra and bikini panties. The bra is all censor. The guy could have his ass covered by boxers, slip the elastic to right beneath his balls and pull the womans panties to the side without removing them. It’s got the sort of mild bondage of a cock ring with rough friction (the guy would have to slide along the elastic with each stroke). If coming from behind there’s even more elastic to slide along and at the end of each stroke his balls would be pushed back against the elastic, which would cause some discomfort in an erotic kind of way and delay orgasm.
See what I mean? It’s kinkier than if they were just naked and fucking. Also you have something to grab, ball up in your fist, use for leverage, increasing some of that, um, erotic discomfort.
We do a lot of suspending disbelief to watch tv, we don’t do a lot of sex in our underwear. Sometimes there’s a reason for that, like, public sex, you don’t really want to get naked just in case you need to run. Sometimes someone shaved too much and doesn’t really want you to see everything because although they like you well enough for sex, they aren’t comfortable being embarrassed in front of you yet. Hypothetical of course. Yeah.
Oh, and that sideways gonna-pop-a-cap-in-your-ass handgun thing on tv? Bolshevik! I mean you could do it, but I got ten bucks says you’re firing all gutter balls. Ok then, um, carry on.
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