Anger Monday, June 16, 2008
Today was harder than I thought it would be. All day at work, I had to re-live Angie's heart attack. Every person that called or came in wanted to know how she was. I listened to Steph (co-worker) explain it again and again. Steph was a lot closer to Angie than I was. She's also a very emotional person and talking helps her. I, on the other hand like to not dwell on things and talk about other things and get my mind off of things that hurt. After listening to her repeat the story from 9am until 1pm she left for the hospital to go see Angie. This meant I was left in the office alone to deal with my own thoughts and letting random people know the updates.
As the hours passed, and I had to keep answering phones and pretend that I was happy and nothing was wrong, I became very angry. I had to also sign the papers to cancel the house today. I feel like I lost a house, a friend, a co-worker, and $2900.00 all in one day. The whole time today I just became more and more angry because I am in situations that I can't control. I can't just turn it off. I can't just make it stop. Not even for a few minutes so I can breathe easier for a minute. I feel so empty and angry.
After work I slept. Now I am going to take a bath and read. Then I will sleep. I do this simply so I don't feel so upset. I have a unborn child to think about. I have felt cramping earlier and it worries me. I must stay calm for her.
It's just that every day that passes, I hate this fucking apartment more and more.
Her
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im so sorry :( [muted exposure] 6/16/2008 9:08:34 PM
i'm so sorry you're going through this. i wish there was something i could do for you.
[ephemeral] [p]
6/16/2008 9:12:13 PM
Is a different apartment an option? [angelhair] 6/16/2008 9:27:16 PM
Hugs [mumof2lilboys] 6/17/2008 2:05:21 AM
I've been reading your past entries and I want to say congrats on the pregnancy and sorry for your friend. I hope everything works. [prettylittlekitty]
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