I didn’t know this, but apparently, in the 70’s, terrible actor and all-round unfunny fuck Tim Allen, he of those God awful Santa Clause movies, was sentenced to life in prison after pleading guilty to smuggling over 650 grams of cocaine.
Holy shit. Tim, dude, the party’s at my place.
Now, obviously, he didn’t do life in prison. Wanna know why? He decided to get his sentence reduced to 3-7 years by snitching out the other dealers. On June 12th, 1981, he was paroled after serving only two years and four months, thereby freeing him up to inflict the rest of us with worse than a life sentence: his God-awful movies.
Here’s his mugshot, by the by. Check out that pornstache: 
Wanker.
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