Here's To Starting Over... in Just Moments

~So my boyfriend broke up with me last week… I’m finally recovering ok. It was for the best, well for me anyways… He’s an idiot… Honestly I treated him so good that he should have held on to me for a really long time… But that’s going to be his problem not mine anymore. I really loved him… well I still love him but it will never be the same anymore. I wish that he would have showed me that he cared a little bit more than he did. I mean I’m sure he did care and possibly still does, but he never really showed it, not a lot anyways. But now I just need to figure out what I want to do with my life and go from there…

~I’m thinking about moving. To be honest that would be the easiest thing to do. Get away from everything here and everyone here that has hurt me in the past and just start over. But I’m scared of starting over, leaving everything that I know behind, my family, my job… Its just so, so much to lose. I don’t know what I’m going to be or where I’m going to go… I’m not even really sure what I want to be anymore. I’ve been trying to decide if I should do something crazy and just go to Europe and buy a one way ticket and try to make my way over there. I’ve always wanted to go there and this would be a great opportunity to go there. To really be anyone I wanted to be seeing as no one would really know me there. It would be great, I could reinvent myself in a new country and just be someone new. I can see me just walking down the street taking it all in and just feeling like I’m home. I guess I won’t really know until I go there, but yeah… This all might be to rash, but I can’t help but wonder if its my calling… I’ve always wanted to go there… Idk…

~Maybe I’m just a dreamer but I wish I could just stop feeling sometimes. and for me I feel like starting over would do that for me…