No Sleep Till (insert name of town) Monday, January 15, 2007
I can't sleep. I drank a whole lot of pop (Soda as the rest of the US calls it). Too much pop. Now I have caffiene bouncing off the walls of my veins, making me want to bounce off the walls of my bedroom. I am not tired. Not one bit.
It's freezing raining out, like seriously. All I can hear is the clicking of ice off my windows. Tomorrow should be a great day for ice skating. It's too bad I threw away my ice skates last year. I have to work anyway. However, if it keeps this icey goodness up, maybe the power will go out and I won't have to work. Of course, if the power goes out, and I don't have to work, it won't be any kind of fun, because... well the power is out and I can't normally occupy myself with out having something electrical around. I guess I would have to resort to something battery powered. Heh. That sounded bad. I think I will keep it.
Let's talk about Derek. He's always fun to talk about. I like him so much. I just have a bad feeling he is going to leave as soon as his Grandpa dies. You see, he's down here in, my town, taking care of his dying grandpa. He's working two jobs and taking care of him. Yeah, he's always busy. He seems to find time to call me every day though. Sometimes multiple times. He's such a great guy. He took me out to a bar Friday night and we drank and played Keno. We didn't win anything. I had such a good time though. We just sat at the bar, chatted, and held each other and joked around. He's such a goofball.
So I really am falling for him. This isn't good. I mean I want to fall for him, but I don't want to fall for him if he's just going to leave when his grandpa dies. I am guessing his Grandpa only has about 30 days left. So I guess I have 30 days to make him fall in love with me. He calls every day. He kisses me goodbye, and hello. He came to see me at work, and brought me a frosty. He holds me when I am around. He buys me drinks at the bar. He calls me at least twice a day. I mean, it seems like he really likes me. I just am scared I guess. I am scared he's just "needy" and needs someone here in, my town, until his Grandpa passes and then he can move on. So I am thinking, am I doing all I can do? I don't know! It's been so long since I have had a boyfriend that I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing.
Sheesh. I am a mess. I am 31 years old and so "dating challenged" that I am not sure what is right and what is wrong. The only thing I know for sure is he is not getting any of my "good loving" until I know he loves me. I know that seems dated or perhaps obvious, but aaaaaargh. Face it. I am oblivious to this dating crap. I have no idea what I am doing.
Enough of that. Heh. Now I have nothing to write about. Guess I'll try that sleep thing.
Her
Leave a Note
Just keep on doing what you are doing. It is obvious he has feelings for you so it takes time to develop a relationship.
Good luck and don't worry [Mistie]
1/15/2007 8:42:29 AM
It always seems like 'you' have no idea when 'you' are one of the two parties involved, doesnt it? I mean, if it was someone else telling you these things it would be allot clearer because you arent involved.
My suggestion would be you need to weigh what you can live with. Not knowing what his plans are, or knowing. Then acting accordingly.
[LastInLine]
1/15/2007 10:27:06 AM
i cant see him just up and leaving. there will be things to settle up there and he does have 2 jobs he is working. he will stay. [muted exposure] 1/15/2007 10:55:42 AM
I know he probably has a lot on his mind right now and everything but have you thought about maybe talking to him about it? Ask him what his plans are after his Grandpa passes. I think you have a right to know if you are just there to comfort him or if there is really something there! [Ordinary_Girl21] 1/15/2007 10:20:05 PM
Don't stress. Whatever happens happens, and worrying about the future will only make the present less enjoyable. Take it one day at a time, cross bridges when you come to them, et cetera and so forth. [JKD Student] 1/16/2007 11:21:10 AM
take it slow...just keep spending quality time together and see how it goes. He sounds really nice. [lostonthesea] 1/16/2007 10:58:44 PM
Well you are doing better than me. I have a lot going on with school and stuff. Last week was a short week in class so I have 2 weeks of homework due this week. Yesterday I did great on my diet. Had 1220 calories and close to 13 classes of water. Today on the other hand I have stuffed my face and only had 3 glasses of water. But everyone has off days. If you want you can research diet tips... [BecomingSlim] [p] 1/17/2007 12:48:30 AM
(cont.) or exercise tips and email them to me. [email protected] Thanks!
Stephanie [BecomingSlim] [p]
1/17/2007 12:49:06 AM
he sounds really nice :)
if it were me, i'd just take it one day at a time and see how things went....trying to push things doesnt work very often...
ryn..thanks, saw you were on the "team" too, good luck to you too! :) [ItalianMama] [p]
1/17/2007 9:37:43 PM
hi live in the moment... It is a great feeling .... oh and drink yer water.... :>) [Mz Odd] 1/18/2007 5:23:48 PM
aww. i like that you said "and brought me a frosty". it's the little things, you know?
[p]
1/18/2007 11:29:40 PM
that unsigned note was from me. assuming it even saved since I hit private and I'm not able to see it.
stupid OD logging me out and stuff. [ephemera] [p]
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