Getting Over It in New Beginnings

What does it mean to be over someone? I still think about Anya every so often. Not every day, but it seems like once every two or three weeks a memory of her pops into my head. Does getting over someone mean she’s completely out of my system? I’m not pining for her; it’s more of a curiousity, kind of like how I’ll randomly remember an obscure acquaintance from high school and wonder where that person ended up. The only difference is I’m more curious about her than those casual friendships that now seem ancient.

I wonder if de-friending her on Face Book was a mistake. Granted, one of the reasons I did so was because my life was in a very depressing state at the time, and I was afraid she’d might want to catch up. How does that saying go? You never run into an ex when you’re life is going well. It’s always when things are in the crapper that fate has you bump into him or her. She’s not an ex, but I still didn’t want to feel like a failure in her eyes.

All that being said, I also de-friended her trying to get her out of my system. Doing just that is hard when I was also seeing photos she posted and seeing love notes she and her boyfriend were posting on each other’s wall. I suppose doing so helped me think about her less, but it didn’t eliminate her completely from my thoughts. Now, while I never look at her profile, I’ll get as far as typing her name in the search field, which will populate with her name and a thumbnail photo. She still has her maiden name, so I presume that she’s still unmarried, even if she’s still with her boyfriend. I kind of wish her last name would change. If I knew she were married, that would kind of put the very last nail in the coffin.

I suppose that last fact is ironic. I mean, I’m not a player. What’s the point of a relationship if marriage isn’t the end goal? Anya wouldn’t share that entire sentiment, that’s probably why she’s still unmarried; she doesn’t see that final step as necessary or meaningful. Thus, she’s clearly not a solid match for me. If she were to get married, I could put her out of my mind even though she obviously matured to a point where we could have been compatible, yet her remaining single keeps me holding just a little bit of a torch even though our values on the subject don’t allign. How I feel is how I feel, though. I wish my logic could overwhelm my emotions instead of the other way around.

Why am I pondering all this now? Maybe it’s because in an amusing twist of fate, Anya’s boyfriend and I have the same birthday. In six days, he’ll be getting his guaranteed birthday sex. That’s another thing that won’t leave my head.