the day has been uneventful.
we saw pops (his dad).
he cooked (he is a chef).
we hung out with his boys (12 and 14).
i wore a stupid-sexy heart monitor and rather want to rip the flesh from my bones because: adhesive allergy.
he laughed at me, smoothed my rumpled feathers, patted my itches (can’t scratch with the monitor on) and played his video game.
he took good care of me.
we got some things done around the house.
he even consoled a vacuum cleaner.
(yes, you read that correctly.)
now, we are relaxing in bed, he trying to stay awake to keep me company, i writing before my fiftieth attempt at sleep.
i know that, if i let him, he will stroke my hair and ease me into rest with his voice, soft in my ear.
if.
but i won’t.
i’ll do everything i can to get him to sleep, because he is even worse at it than i am.
all of our imperfections as a non-couple make our life-mate arrangement of sorts a very good one.
there is so much between us.
time. love. passion. anger. trust. lust.
so much…
we may not be anything more than we ever have been. we may not even know what, exactly, that is.
but i love him, and he loves me.
and tonight, i will fall asleep next to him with that unwavering knowledge.
as much as it inadvertently ties me to him, it frees me, too.
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