Personal in Me, My girls & God

I tend to prefer isolation, I try to avoid confrontation, I’m never up for the occasion, it takes a lot of persuasion. 5 thousand people on my social media site but how many can say there husband was murdered right?
That shit was not normal, I’m just learning this now but that text message was her only chance to take a bow. I was lost for words, even felt ashamed to cry held that shit in like it was me who died but i survived with my children deprived and did what i had to do to keep us alive. You never know how strong you are until you have to be, I put all that pain into a CD and let my music pull me threw tied my work shoe and turned into a kangaroo.
Babies in my pouch i carried them all and 5 years later they are not so small with dreams of there own so let me make it known, there is not a that that goes by that i don’t appreciate and your pains ill try to alleviate cause i been walking threw hell with a murderer in a cell, when you lose everything your whole perspective changes and the pain becomes painless, depression becomes contagious, strangers become dangerous and the future is lost....all of my dreams of a normal family became lame but im not ashamed my daughters had a father no one can take that place, game face for breathing space that’s how i hold my own. My children are grown and that is why i stand with pride all because my baby dad died.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point so i sparked a joint looking to the stars my baby on guitars a killer behind bars but not for long, one more year and tragedy’s gone wrong cause our system has failed the killer makes bail seems so unfair.....try explaining wickedness to innocence ignorant bliss to young to kiss what did i miss, I miss him!
I missed feeling fear from everywhere i ran from. I’m done running im staying right here no fear! Good night beautiful i got 3 bags of garbage and i just started making my quackish wet and I aint even wearing any thank god even if he’s not real cause how can anything be real id your don’t believe? And if you don’t believe then you don’t succeed weather it’s in god or YOU. I think im just getting ready for ME the one who is yet to BEE Rip what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Life is going on one day at a TIME. Will you be mine? Ill love you in ecstasy trespassing electricity strangely enough i think it was meant to be, falling endlessly saving your destiny! Will you be mad if i ALWAYS pick Jesus?