The Story of Chad Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I first logged onto the internet in September of 1998. It was probably sometime in the beginning of 1999 that I came across a man named Chad. I fell as far in love as possible with him as a relationship online would let us. We talked online night after night, and of course that led to on the phone, and that led to sending and receiving packages in the mail. Then one day we decided we needed to meet in person. The main obstacle was that he lived about 2200 miles from me in British Columbia, Canada. However, in 1999 I was much crazier than I am now. I decided that it was time to meet and I bought a plane ticket and flew out to meet him.
I was terrified and thrilled at the same time. I had two main concerns: The first one was if he didn't show up at the airport I would be absolutely screwed. I had brought a credit card for that exact reason so that I could at least sleep somewhere. The second was, "what if we ended up hating each other? Then what??
We met in Seattle Washington. He was late. I was then full of panic. I really thought he stood me up. However, denial set in, so I kept searching for him. Then I saw him. It was an awkward hug. Then I started talking and couldn't stop. (that what I do when I am nervous) Then after that things really took off. I had the best time of my life. He took me all over BC and showed me the greatest sights of all. We sat on the beach at the English Bay in Vancouver and watched the fireworks. It was amazing. The were thousands of people there and there was music. Then we also saw fire works at a really nice restraunt where you could go out on the roof and watch them. It was simply amazing. Truely the only reason we got in was because he knew the band. Then we went camping in the mountains. We took mountain bikes up a mountain. Going up sucked. Going down was great! The whole trip was fantastic. We did so many amazing things I can't even list them all. Hot tubs, Caviar, Irish Pubs, mountains, friends, gay bars with men dressed in drag, playing in mountain streams, playing in a huge water fountian in Seattle, road trips, dancing, meeting friend after friend... Gosh.. so much. One of my favorite times was when we were all sitting on the beach watching the fireworks, and the song, "American Woman" came on. They were all singing it to me and I felt soo special. That was the whole great part of the trip. I felt so special. It was great.
Needless to say I cried when I left. I was 100% in love. It was hard to get on that plane and leave him. When I got back to Michigan my roommate could see it in my eyes that I wanted to go back.
So then in December of 1999 he came to Michigan. Again we spent about a week together. This time it went well too. Except this time it didn't go as well because I was in charge of entertainment. I am not that good at entertaining. However, we still got along pretty well.
Then it happened. He went home. I could tell he was in love with me. I then did the same thing that I do everytime I fall in love. I begin falling out of love when someone loves me. It's strange. It happens every time though. Perhaps I felt smothered? I don't know. He lived 2200 miles away. I don't know how it's possible to feel smothered. Perhaps I felt fear? I have no idea. He's not the only one I felt this way towards. Many guys that I have fallen for I have fallen out of love as soon as they show interest back. It's horrible.
However, now Chad and I have known each other amost 8 years. We still talk. He reads my diary faithfully. (How To Ride a Bus) And I still love him very much. Am I still in love? I don't know. That's what my upcoming trip to Canada will be all about. Is he in love with me? Maybe. However, I am not sure if he knows who I am anymore. That's what the next entry will be about. However, that entry is another 24 hours away.
Goodnight all.
Her
Leave a Note
I am an atheist. As Lewis Black would say, I'm "too lazy for faith." There are a few things I have faith in, and one of them is love. Distance, gender, age... none of that matters. While I doubt the ability of many to distinguish between love and infaturation, I do believe in love.
Best of luck to you.
(I also have faith in extraterrestrial life and Battlestar Galactica) [JKD Student]
10/11/2006 12:22:59 AM
I hope you have a great time on your upcoming trip!
[OddJohn]
10/11/2006 8:36:39 AM
i hope your trip is all you want it to be. love is crazy and you can never tell what will happen. take it one day at a time. [muted exposure] 10/11/2006 9:24:44 AM
thanks people for the advice! ;) [how to ride a bus] 10/11/2006 10:14:27 PM
i hope you trip helps you figure things out. have a great time! [shannie.michelle]
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