Jayson and I got callings on Sunday. I didn’t think it would happen so quickly but I am glad that I have some responsibility and feel like I am more a part of the community. Jayson was called to work with the Young Men and I was called to work with the Young Women. Interesting choice, since our oldest child is 5, but part of me appreciates that I can work with older girls since my life at home is all about infants and toddlers.
As part of getting the calling, the Bishop gave me a worthiness interview, which was really my first one ever. I had some idea what to expect, but I admit it was a little uncomfortable to be talking about these things with him. A lot of his questions were easy, like if I believe in the teachings of the church, obey the word of wisdom, pay my tithing, etc., but then he asked about the law of chastity and I hesitated because I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.
He correctly interpreted my hesitation as confusion and asked if he wanted me to explain what it entailed, and I agreed. First he asked me if I engaged in sexual relationships only with my husband, and I told him I did. He had no idea, of course, that for a long time that wasn’t true. But I am committed to it now.
Then he asked if I refrain from impure thoughts. Kind of vague, but he went on to confirm that I avoid pornography and that I do not masturbate. How awkward to have this man ask me point blank if I masturbate. But I was happy to be able to tell him that I do not. I elaborated that I used to, but I have given it up. He asked me if I felt like I have sufficiently repented for the sin of masturbation and I wasn’t sure. I didn’t really do anything other than stop doing it.
He told me that I should pray and ask God for forgiveness. I asked if that is something I should do in private, or if we should do it together. He told me that doing it in private was perfectly fine, but he would also be happy to join me in prayer at that moment. So we both actually got on our knees in his office and I prayed. I felt a little embarrassed saying a prayer because I don’t think I’m very good and it and he’s the Bishop. I remember saying the words that I was praying to ask forgiveness for the sin of masturbation, which I have discontinued. I felt my face turn red.
After the prayer he asked me how I felt, and I told him I was happy I was learning about repentance. He smiled and told me he was confident I had been forgiven.
Then he told me he was sure I would someday be an important leader in the church. I’m not sure why he said that.
I still haven’t talked to Jayson about masturbation. I don’t know if he stopped doing it and I wonder if the Bishop asked him the same questions.
I do tell him, quite often, that I am so happy in the church and really glad he pushed me to continue to listen to the missionaries back when I was still skeptical.
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