I’ve been dealing a lot with temptation lately. Temptations to do things that I know I’m not supposed to do. It’s harder still because I know I could do them without anyone ever knowing about it (other than me and God). And because they are things that other people do (and I used to do) without feeling any remorse.
I wanted to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday, but I didn’t. We decided as a family to keep the sabbath day holy instead. We don’t watch TV on Sundays, and ordinarily I am just fine with that. I am a Patriots fan but I don’t mind missing normal regular season games. It’s not a huge deal to me. But I’m a little sad to miss the Super Bowl.
If I had watched it, I definitely would have wanted to have a beer and smoke a cigarette. These are two temptations that I deal with frequently. I was never a huge drinker, but there are times when I would really like a beer. And quitting smoking is tough. It has been a real challenge for me, even though I’m proud to say I have not touched a cigarette since I decided to quit many months ago. I still crave it sometimes. And I think about how little it would really matter if I just had one.
I miss swearing. I know it’s a small thing, but I used to be fairly foul-mouthed and sometimes those bad words just want to come out.
Jayson and I have a lot more sex than your average married couple with three kids. I actually don’t know if that’s true, but I suspect it is. We have sex not every day, but close to it. I’d say five times a week. It’s important to me because regular sex helps me control the temptation to masturbate. It would be so easy, and no one would ever know, but I don’t do it. I haven’t touched myself since I decided I had to stop.
I know I sound like I’m complaining, but I’m not. I’m happy about the changes is my life. I’m happy about my new relationships in church, and my new understanding of my heavenly father. There was certainly a time in my life when I would have laughed at someone for being the person I now am. But religion has made me happy, and it has made my family better and stronger.
Dealing with temptation is worth it.
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