My teenage sister has some pretty… deep, but sadly “normal” for young women, issues. She’s obsessed with not getting older. She buys face creams, and collegen creams because getting old is her “biggest fear” and she doesn’t want wrinkles. She’s 15. She’s very, very insecure and constantly criticizing her physical self. I think she feels that most of her self-worth comes from how she looks, and it really makes me sad. I’ve tried to have some conversations with her about it, and really praising her when she does well academically or makes a good choice about something that doesn’t have to do with her appearance, but I think it’s really difficult to change that mentality… and I haven’t always been the best role model, I know that.
I had to hide the scale that was in the bathroom because I heard her constantly checking her weight. Like, every time she went to the bathroom. She hasn’t asked me about it, so hopefully she doesn’t care. She’s gained weight since she got here, so that is good. But she is always talking about what size she is and whatnot. I don’t get why she cares what size she is. She’s 5‘5”, 115 pounds. She’s a twig. She should just have fun with her life and try to be healthy, not focus on how much she weighs.
I’ve started to be very careful about what I say around her. I try hard not to talk about my weight and if I’m unhappy with it that day. I try to focus on talking about how exercising everyday has made me feel better health-wise. I try to eat healthy around her (except she doesn’t care because all she wants to eat is junk food… she never eats vegetables). I drink a crapton of water. We got her a water bottle to use, but she never does. sigh.
I think part of it is that she watches Korean dramas a lot, and she’s obsessed with k-pop. The romantic and physical ideals of Korean culture is looking young, acting young, and since they are Asian they are all super thin. She’s also obsessed with looking pale, which is another feature that many Koreans have.
I just wish she wanted to accept who she is as a person, and not try to be something she isn’t. I’ve noticed that emotionally and mentally she is kind of stunted. She is a 12-year-old trapped in a 15-year-old’s body. She should be trying to be more responsible and self-starting, but she isn’t. At all. She should be maturing in ways that she isn’t. I’m not really sure what to do about it, I’ve never had to raise a teenager… I mean, I haven’t raised her at all until last year, so I guess I’m even more clueless.
We try to give her responsibilities around the house, and she does help me with things often, and I always make sure to thank her for it. Her grades have gotten a lot better too, but I wish she would place more important on her grades than her looks. She could really do something great with herself, I know she can… but she just doesn’t seem to care about that. :(
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