I am a good man (the first son and/or daughter of a whore and/or whoremonger who says ‘Methinks he doth protest too much’ will be methinking out the other side of his or her ass). Awww shit, how could I lose my train of thought in the space of one little parenthetical statement? Fuck biscuits. Fuck biscuits slathered in copulation gravy with coitus compote. It had something to do with jurisprudence and due diligence, I know because I can still taste those flavors signature on my cerebral cortex (back off ye rank methinkers, you’ve one more cheek I can dot).
I think I had a confession that, likely, was a bad idea anyhow. I’m a good man who has done some bad things. No, not the type of bad thing a Sunday driver in a vanilla suit would think of as bad, no that guy and or chick (though not even Hillary would wear a vanilla pantsuit after labor day) would probably think of that shit as righteous and certain things I don’t even give a second thought to as bad.
I guess in general part of my confession is that I’m a true believer. No, I’m not talking religion, though with all the God and romance shit I’ve been spewing of late I wouldn’t blame a man jack of you for thinking so (or, you know, a woman jack, a whoremonger jack, and so on and so forth, you’ve only got the two cheeks, cleft like an over-ripe peach in late august). Something even more embarrassing for a left-wing nut like me to confess; I’m a true believer in the American Justice system for all it’s flaws, convolutions and contortions, loopholes and biases.
My crime, without getting too specific, is the self-righteous arrogance that leads a fellow to gray area shortcuts. It takes a healthy hatful of horseshit to convince yourself you aren’t compromising your core values but rather expediting a foregone conclusion that must have been the original intent of the law. Confused? Good. Y’all should have a second helping of fuck biscuits; this is a particularly good batch.
Self-reflection is like staring past some particularly fine bourbon to watch your ice cubes melt. Wait, no, it’s good in moderation. Funny we quote shit like “The unexamined life is not worth living” (pardon if that’s a paraphrase, if I had to look it up it wouldn’t be part of the modern lexicon would it?) and yet out of context it sounds like if you ain’t gazing at your shoes you might as well take the long dive off the bridge. I submit that if you’re always gazing at your shoes you might just accidentally slip off a bridge or two.
Without self-reflection, however, I don’t know that the world would need more than one social networking site; twitter would do --- I had ice cream. Vanilla. It was good. This other guy had chocolate. I asked him how it was. Good he said.
Or the ubiquitous Bitchs be tripping and/or Dudes be tripping. Though, and speaking solely from a literal POV, there’s a whole lot of self-reflection in tripping.
And that should pretty much not sum up anything at all. Do so carry on with your bad selves, won’t you?
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