Today (and most of the latter part of the week) I’ve been feeling somewhat better. Perhaps that mean old full moon finally loosened its grip on me, but I don’t feel as helpless and lost today. I don’t feel great, but I don’t feel like such a sad little lump.
Eh, actually, it comes and it goes.
I saw the Bulldog on Wednesday night. We had a decent Walk N Talk for a couple of hours and then wanted to go eat, but couldn’t decide since I had the puppy with me in her little tote. So we ended up going to his place and he made me dinner. It was nice. He is an impressive cook.
And then, it was interesting, because he did everything differently than he had done the night I got so upset with him. It’s like he took everything I said to heart and adjusted from there. For example, I felt as though he was ignoring me the other evening – from his body language, it was if he was rejecting me by not even making eye contact. This time, when we were side-by-side, he shifted his whole body to face my direction and spoke directly to me, looked directly into my eyes. Also, the other night I’d asked him why we didn’t just make out, and he said that’s not how he works (actually said something to the effect of, “that’s not how a man works” and if I wanted cuddling and make-out sessions, to go be with a woman [!!!] , and then felt bad and immediately took it back). Wednesday night? Total make-out session leading to him playing with my hair (which he knows is my absolute favorite thing in the world) to something I can only describe as love-making (sorry, I know that sounds cheesy, but that’s what it felt like). It was almost too good to be true.
Not sure what to make of this, but I’m not complaining any more for the time being. I am completely satisfied with the way that night went.
Except for the fact that I stayed out waaaaaay past my bedtime. For someone who gets up at 4:45AM, getting home at 12:45AM and going to bed at 1AM is rough. Still, worth it.
Was tired the rest of the work week.
Saw him again on Friday night. ‘Nother walk, then dinner at our favorite pizza place. Then home (his home) and to bed. Again, a lovely, steamy time with lots of attentiveness and…well, yeah.
What to make of this? Dunno. But I’m cool with it. Today.
There are a lot of things I need to write about: the puppy and how she’s changed my life, what’s going on at work, Best Bud, my attitude, my staff’s attitude, my parents, exercise and my body, booze, life in general. Maybe later today.
Love and Better Days,
GS
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