It's weird. My mother-in-laws ex husband was a rather horrible person when I knew him. He's dead now. He'd had cancer. It got him. It went to his bones and he died in his apartment with only his cats to keep him company.
He had been on hospice. His friend found him and gave his cats a new home. I hope the cats are adjusting well and smoothly as possible.
Did I mention that he was a rather horrible person when I knew him? He was abusive towards my mother-in-law. He'd threatened to kill her many times, hit her, shoved her, knocked her around. It's a horrible thing to say and I know this but I always wanted to ask him how it was to smack her. How did it feel to smack that tiny head of hers and did it shut her up? I wanted to know if it gave him any satisfaction because, God forgive me, I have often wanted to smack her myself.
God knows what it's in my heart. I can't hide it. I have asked for forgiveness but He knows.
Also I would never smack anyone unless it was in self defense.
Anyway, he died. Alone. In the time I knew him he'd not only abused my in-law but he'd also made so many racist comments and did things that were just wrong. That's the bad.
The good. He was a decent cook. I enjoyed cooking with him. He was good in the kitchen.
I feel odd about his death. There's a few people saying he was a good guy and a mentor to them. That is shocking to me. I want to ask how bad their life is that he was a mentor. He had been going to bible study so maybe he did make peace with God before he left this earthly realm. I don't know.
It's still just strange that he's gone and I'm having trouble with how I feel about it. Indifferent? Yes. Sorry? No. Confused? Yes. There's questions I'd like answered. Do I miss cooking with him or just spending time with someone else, doing something else? Maybe both.
My in-law was mad because when the cops called her to ask if he'd had an siblings or family they wouldn't tell her what was going on. She called his brother and gave him their phone number and that led to her finding out he was dead. She thought they could have just told her. Um no. You're his ex wife. You're no longer related to him. You're not his next of kin so no they can not tell you anything. Then they wouldn't allow her to go into his apartment. I was married to him! She said. Were. You were married to him. Again, no longer related to him so no, you don't get to go into his place though she will be there when his brother goes in for sure.
One, she wants to be nosey and to see how he lived. I get that. Two, she wants to see if he still had anything he'd stolen from her when they were going through the divorce. Anything he took that was worth anything is surely gone now. Sold, pawned, whatever. We'd told her to check the pawn shop but he wouldn't sell it there, she said. Of course he wouldn't! Who sells things to pawn shops anyway? (Insert eye roll here)
So yeah he's gone. I do hope and pray that he'd made peace with God before he left. I hope that he finds the peace in the next realm that he didn't find here.
For the rest of us, it's more peaceful. I can now go visit my in-law without worry of running into him. I can not worry about this tall man trying to bully myself, my husband or anyone else he'd tried to bully. He was a known entity around that area. The cops knew him. None of his and my in-laws neighbors talked to them because of him and her too. He truly wasn't a nice guy when I knew him.
So RIP. You won't be missed by those of who knew you a couple of years ago. May the ones who do miss you, may they find peace and comfort. May your cats have a great home and live happy lives. I'm grateful to your friend for taking them. Thanks for sharing your kitchen with me and confiding in me when you did. I'm trying to forgive you for the horrible things you said to all of us when you were being horrible. May God forgive you. May He give me the strength to forgive you too.
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