Here in the San Fernando Valley in California. The weather is mild, chilly, actually. I welcome the serenity this house provides. The house has a way of relaxing you. I told Rick that I am sleeping better here. The quiet is driving him bananas. He’s spent the last three days moping and pacing, pouting and frowning.
I asked him what was with the grouchy pants? He said he doesn’t feel right about relaxing and treating this time as a reset, because vacations should come AFTER you have accomplished something. I tried to give him a different perspective. Tried to float the notion that sometimes, we just need to unplug and start over. That was not logical to him.
He said staying here is like living in a comfortable waiting room. The metaphor struck me. He ain’t wrong. We spend a lot of time in a living room that feels like a museum, with terrible seating arrangements, complete with an original Kermit the Frog, very expensive art nouveau paintings, books and books, an ACTUAL Emmy award, a hat rack with triple the hats it was meant to hold, and even a taxidermied PEACOCK.
It is not a place conducive to relaxing. It’s cluttered with objects, each thing more expensive than anything I have ever purchased. It’s buttoned up, but cobwebs are taking over the corners of the vaulted ceilings. I spotted a couple of winged insects caught in the webs too high to be easily reached, without an extension on a broomstick duster.
Yesterday, Rick slept until almost noon. I had woken up at the butt crack of dawn to prepare and feed the macaw, Max. I made coffee, then got the laundry out of the dryer and folded it, started a new load.
Mondays are chemo day, and I purposely took it a little later than usual, so I could be productive in the early morning hours. I have to work with intention, and only as energy allows. Once I take the meds, I am ZONKED. I spent most of the day laying in bed with Rick watching a new to me show- The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It’s an easy, fun watch. Rick made us yummy ham, turkey, and salami sandwiches with havarti cheese, on toasted ciabatta bread.
We got so into the show that I lost track of time, and didn’t start dinner until 7. We had found bratwurst on clearance, and paired it with Trader Joe’s calabrian chili spicy pasta sauce, tomato paste, beef broth to thin it out a bit. Once everything was well into bubbling away, I tried the sauce, and it had a typical slight bitter taste from the chilies, so I put a splash of milk in the pan. Once we combined the spaghetti and the sauce, and plated it, I added HEAPS of parmesan cheese to my bowl, and that addition took it over the edge.
I had worried that the flavors of the bratwurst would not mesh well with Italian flavors, but it worked out quite well. I detected the smallest hint of cinnamon in the sausage. It was really nice. Leftovers for dinner tonight.
We watched the Louis Theroux’s documentary about Scientology, and it left me wishing the movie was longer. Really good investigative journalism. I want to look into his other stuff.
Sleep last night was broken. A lot of weird dreams.
This morning, Rick was up and dressed around 8:30, so I guessed he was going to head back to the apartment for the day. Hopefully, he can exorcise the adhd demon through working on an animation project, and playing his video games for a bit. Our apartment faces a very busy street that leads to the on ramp for the 110 freeway. So there is ever present traffic noise, and sirens and lights from emergency response vehicles. I think his brain has acclimated to that extreme level of noise. That is why he really doesn’t like being here.
I keep trying to tempt him to relax a bit by suggesting a dip in the hot tub. No go.
I asked him if he could just pack up his computer and bring it here? Too complicated. But after he had to spend a hundred dollars to fill the gas tank this morning, back and forth trips to the apartment don’t seem prudent. I won’t suggest it again, but I truly think he will come to the same conclusion on his own.
I think my day is a wash. I am falling asleep sitting here. I have therapy at two today. Think I am going to have a slice of cake and then relax in bed for a bit.
I hope you all have a good week.
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