The work shit makes it hard to sleep. Thus further aggravating the Work Bullshit Circle. Work is a significant reason why I feel behind; throwing 90% of my energy into work doesn’t get me any closer to being caught up at work; having 10% for everything else means I never get any closer to being caught up in anything; deepening the psychological and emotional damage… resulting in less energy and difficulty sleeping.... meaning my 100% for the next day is less than my 100% for today.... where I engage in the same cycles. Thereby perpetually getting my 100% to mean less and less and less and less ad infinitum. SO… INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON THAT let’s do The Survey!
If you had an unlimited supply of anything, what would it be? What would you do with it?
Everyone says money. And it isn’t the wrong answer in these times. Right now money is a leash, a collar, a cage and we want the opportunity to run free. If I knew I didn’t have to stay at this job to survive- you cannot calculate how quickly I would fuck out of here! And that’s new for me. I figured I would be a Prosecutor until I died. Now? Honestly I don’t want him to die and I know 1000% that he won’t be this generous in his bequests but… if my Godfather died tomorrow and bequeathed me $30 million; I would quit this job that night! BUT if we wanted to be more detailed than “money” what would it be? It sounds pathetic but my honest answer would be love. An unlimited supply of love. Not just “I like knowing I’m loved” but a genuine… unlimited supply of love. Unconditional. Undemanding.
What’s something you could talk about for hours, but never get to since no one ever asks?
I could get downright annoying on time travel. The science, the mechanics, the ethics, the religious implications, the twisted experiments.... I could come off as very creepy and very weird about it!
What is something you’re weirdly good at without having had formal training or much practice?
Unfortunately, that’s never been me. I might have said dance when I was a kid. But that “gift” disappeared with my waistline. It isn’t acting. If I’d been weirdly good at it, I’d still be doing it. But even with formal training, I wasn’t good enough to get past New York College Professor’s bullshit. But I might still say acting. If I had to unlearn everything I learned, live life completely divorced from acting for 15 years, only to come back better than I was before? Maybe acting.... I guess I’m hoping acting. Otherwise, the answer really is nothing.
What were the first three albums you owned?
My first albums could not be more “Okay, now we know what’s wrong with you” evidence. My very first album was a selection of songs from Fraggle Rock- I may still have this cassette somewhere! My second album was a Beach Boys Best of Cassette. My third album was the Jars of Clay Self-Titled release.
What was the first movie you saw in a movie theater?
I could be entirely wrong but I think… I have a vague memory… that it was either Honey, I Shrunk the Kids or Honey, I Blew Up the Baby
What dessert did you always ask for on your birthday when you were a kid?
Apparently, I asked for Checker Board Cake often enough that my mom bought a device for it.... when you cut the cake, the inside is white and black checkerboard.
What funky traditions did your family have when you were growing up?
I am the big “WE MUST ADHERE TO TRADITION” guy in our family. But most of those traditions were food based. We would also typically watch James Bond on TV or a family film at the movie theater during winter holidays
What was the best gift you ever received?
(As a Kid): It’s almost tragic but I remember it SO distinctly. It was the first and only time I had ever gotten the exact thing I asked for! It wasn’t “I want soundtrack and got score instead” it wasn’t “I want Batmobile and got socks”… I asked for the specific Mighty Max Battle Lava Beast Playset and got it!
(As an Adult): I had a largely intact Fleer Marvel Comic Book Card Collection from 1993 with maybe 15 cards missing. Nancy, without my knowing, tracked down the missing cards and put all of them (in proper poster format) into a Card Collector Book and gave it to me for Christmas one year.
What was the best gift you ever gave?
I am truly shit at getting gifts. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be the guy that heard “okay, she likes that- I’ll get it for her and give it to her for a special occasion” but the only person I was like that with was Nancy when we were dating so… I can’t remember any specific examples.
If you could be anywhere right now, where would you want to be?
If I’m being terribly honest- I’d either want to be in a quiet village in Ireland surrounded by friends and good times; or acting as an English Docent for a Japanese Historical Museum in Osaka.
If you were to create a recipe meant to represent you, what would be the ingredients?
It would be a full meal pairing, but it would reflect my family more than me specifically. An entree of hot dogs in mashed potatoes and smothered in melted cheese and a root beer float for dessert. I suppose if I wanted a version of that which more said ME it would be a Shephard’s Pie for an entree and a Grasshopper for dessert
Did you think you’d end up where you are now? Why or why not?
The life I’m currently living is nothing like what I expected or hoped for. Ever. In many ways, this is a twisted nightmare version of all of the dreams I tried to achieve. I wanted to be a professional actor- moved to this town and was devastated. I moved back 20 years later and I can get all sorts of acting gigs… y’know, Community Theater… as long as there’s not too much singing… and I am okay with being given character roles. When that dream died, I wanted to be a husband and a father. I met a woman I wanted that life with and was devastated. I moved back to the town where we met and I get to enjoy the scarcity and the awfulness of “returning to dating after almost 20 years into a dating environment where even young and attractive men are saying Adult Dating is a fucking nightmare!” I wanted to be a Prosecuting Attorney to help people and protect victims! And I discovered most victims don’t want help or protection. And I moved to a town where I might meet and interact with other attorneys and yet… even then- hardly ever. Mostly just… horrible people treating me and everyone else horribly. I’ve accomplished, in some form, every dream. And every time, it was like some twisted Monkey’s Paw version. At least… that’s the way that it feels.
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