Dear God,
Thank You for being with me. I praise Your holy name. In the name of Jesus, I pray that everything will turn out right. I ask for Your forgiveness wholeheartedly. I’m praying for mercy—please give me a clean slate. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to You the first time.
I have my meeting ahead of me. I stayed up until 5 AM preparing my entire statement. I even paid my acting coach to go over it with me so everything would be clear. I only got about four hours of sleep.
On my way to my parents’ house—about an hour away—I saw a car accident. Right before that, I ran a red light near where I live, something I’ve only done a few times in the 13 years I’ve been there. I heard You say, “Don’t do that ever again.” I heard You. Then I saw an accident a few blocks down further —a man’s car flipped upside down, yet he crawled out unscathed. I thought to myself that surely Your hand was on him, keeping him safe.
I have to step away now for my HR meeting. Please be with me…
I just finished my meeting with Human Resources. It was supposed to be an hour, but it lasted two. So much has happened. I feel a cough coming on, and my body is physically exhausted. Still, I praise Your holy name. I praise You for Your mercy and Your unconditional love. I will praise You through the good times and especially through the bad, because I know I am covered by Your protection. Even in my failures, You show mercy and carry me through my trials and tribulations.
I’m back in bed now, in the office space at my parents’ house—near my mom’s room. My parents have such a sweet relationship. My mom cares deeply for my father, and he loves her just as deeply. The master bedroom is mostly hers now because she struggles to sleep through the night. Sometimes she’s blessed with a full night’s rest, but other times she isn’t.
I only got about four hours of sleep, and I’m hoping to rest more before I have to pick up my car.
On the way to my parents’ house, I hit an unmarked police SUV. The impact was hard—my headlight and hood are badly damaged, and I can’t even open the passenger door.
I panicked and ran from the scene. I drove off, and there was a brief pursuit. I turned into a nearby driveway, then ran around the side of a yard. After a few minutes, I went about half a mile away and stopped in front of another house.
There, I met a woman named Sandra Jones. I asked her if it was safe to park there. The homeowners were out of town, and Sandra—a realtor—was incredibly kind. I told her I was having car trouble. She said her husband was a mechanic and tried to help. When I told her my phone had died, she immediately offered her charger. She was with her almost two-year-old son—a tall blonde woman with the sweetest child. In that moment, I truly felt like You were with me.
I called my dad and asked him to pick me up. He didn’t ask questions—he just came. When he arrived, he saw the damage to my car. I expected anger, but he smiled, maybe even chuckled. “Why are you laughing?” I asked. He just shrugged, as if he didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t tell him what happened. I got my things and got into his car. “I don’t want to know what happened,” he said. “Let’s just focus on your HR meeting.”
Lord, please continue to guide me. Help me to make better decisions, to listen when You speak, and to walk in Your wisdom. Thank You for protecting me, even when I don’t deserve it.
I sat in the backseat of my dad’s car—which could have been the backseat of a police car had I not driven away. There’s no way I would have walked away with just a ticket, especially without current car insurance.
Now I’m realizing how serious this could have been—damage costs, license suspension, legal consequences. It’s overwhelming to think about.
I know what others might think—that I was reckless, that I should know better. And honestly, I think those things about myself too. I know it was irresponsible. I know I shouldn’t drive without insurance. I should know better.
Even though it’s not an excuse, I was thinking about getting to my meeting on time. I was thinking about the accident I saw earlier and how I had just heard You tell me to be a safe driver. And I was thinking… now is not the time to go to jail.
But even in all of this, I feel covered by You. I feel so bad for my mistakes, yet so grateful. My car is badly damaged, but my body is okay. The airbags didn’t go off(I later learned through my Dad I don’t have any airbags to begin with), and I’m not seriously hurt. Maybe just a little strain—but nothing that stops me from moving. Just like the man I saw earlier, You protected me too.
It’s so interesting how life works. Just last night I was listening to Joel Osteen on YouTube. He was talking about happiness—how your outlook determines your joy. I could focus on everything that’s gone wrong these past months… but I’m not in the same place I used to be.
Back then, I had an addiction. I handled everything with defeat. I self-medicated to avoid feeling overwhelmed, but it only made things worse.
Now I have a clearer mind. Now I face my problems and look for the lessons in them. I’m even taking steps to fix things—I’m getting insurance.
Lord, I’m trying.
It’s now almost 10:30 PM. You’ve kept Your word about me not seeing or hearing rats, but there is still evidence in my apartment. Seeing it was hard. For a moment, I felt like crying. I asked, “Why do I have to live this way?”
Then my TV switched to Joel Osteen. He said: don’t just ask God to help you endure—ask Him for abundance. Ask big. Believe for more.
And that spoke to me.
So Father God, I’m asking You for miracles. Take me out of this apartment. Connect me with the right lawyer to break my lease and restore what I’ve lost. Change my income in a miraculous way. Bless me so I can take my parents on the trips they dream of. Give me the freedom to focus on my career.
Open doors for me. Restore what I’ve lost. Bring opportunities, roles, and connections into my life. Strengthen my voice and my talent. Let me walk fully in my purpose.
Heal me. Give me peace. Restore the time I’ve lost to addiction, stress, and sadness. Bring healing to my family. Send me love—the right kind of love, where I feel safe and at peace.
I need You, Lord. Right now.
Please give me rest tonight. Please give me peace.
In Jesus’ name, I pray,
Amen
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