Dear God,
As You know, I’m being sent home tomorrow, and I still have not received any flight ticket or reservation. I don’t know what this means, but I’m absolutely certain I have no ticket information. I’m already packed and scheduled to wake up in less than 5.5 hours. This really sucks—I want more sleep.
I should go to bed now, but I wanted to ask if You could put Your hands on this situation. Please help with my ticket, please help me get good sleep, please let me be on time tomorrow, and please help my father’s health improve.
I really do need to go to sleep. I probably shouldn’t have drank so much water. I want to nibble on something, but I’ll wait until I get to the airport. I have smoked salmon, cheese, lettuce, and cantaloupe waiting for me. I feel blessed that I was smart enough to pack food so I won’t have to purchase anything.
Alex, my old roommate, looked at my stories on instagram. I think I’m going to block her, just to be on the safe side. I don’t know why she started gossiping about me or why she turned on me. I just can’t be close to anyone these days. I used to wish I had friends that weren’t in love with me, but now I feel like maybe that’s the best option. I get tired of the verbal advances. I just want a genuine friendship where I can be loved genuinely.
I sound crazy, but at least I have Debra. Although she’s shown jealousy in the past a couple of times, I do think we’re in a different space now.
I tried reaching out to my former hairdresser, Miss Rosa, and she completely rejected my call. I thought we were much closer than that, but I understand—it could have been a bad time. Maybe she thought I wanted something from her, or that I would ask personal questions she wasn’t ready to answer.
I really should get to sleep. I know my independence is starting to grow more and more. I spent the whole day by myself—I ate breakfast alone, went to the beach alone, and snorkeled alone. I brought a bagel with me, broke it into pieces, and fed it to the fish. They swarmed around me, and I felt one of them tap my hand. I screamed several times underwater and felt scared. I saw such extraordinary, colorful fish. I even saw a blackish-brown and orange fish with teeth—I definitely screamed when I saw that one.
It started to rain, so I went back to the hotel. Then I spent almost three hours writing my account of what happened for my first working flight. I finally got it all together. I pray it’s strong enough that I won’t get more than one write-up. It would be a miracle if I just got a warning and no write-up at all.
I’m exhausted. I’m going to set a few alarms and pray for sweet sleep in Jesus’ name.
By the way, I hear a baby screaming at the top of its lungs. I think my earplugs will make the sound go away.
Thank You for a beautiful and independent day. Oh—and I saw Jim and Michelle today. When Michelle saw me, she barely acknowledged me and walked away quickly. Jim, who I was closest to in class, acted differently too. He came up to me, saw my body language, and stopped himself from hugging me. Then he said, “Well, give me a hug.” I hugged him and said goodbye. I’ll never understand why he didn’t want to help me with answering questions about the OE.
And today Shervy had an attitude with me. I told him I pray for his crypto and that he’s going to succeed, but he didn’t seem to like that. Later, when he stayed on the phone with me while I wrote my report, he muted himself. It felt like he didn’t care. And when he said he had to go, he just said, “Alright, bye,” and hung up before I could even respond.
I notice the details in how people act, but I’m starting to focus on not letting their behavior affect me in a negative way. I experienced a few people being off with me today, but that’s on them.
I love You, Jesus. Good night
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