It's been about a month. What's new? A few things, and not much.
Dating continues apace. My two new connections are coming along well. I see them each about once a week as time allows.
Work is work. It's nice to have a gig that pays well and isn't a huge emotional drain. My last job really sucked a lot of life out of me in that last terrible, toxic year. I miss most of the people, but I don't miss that job at all.
Because my schedule is so busy with outside commitments, my availability to see people has been scarce. That will all let up in a few weeks, and I am looking forward to more weeknight dates instead of stealing an hour or two on weekends.
I had a conversation with someone IRL about the work I've done in therapy and how I can tell, as I say, that the work is working. I look back at a number of things from my past that were painful (the ex who was having an affair) or left big scars (my father's death and all of the complicated feelings that brought up), and I have noticed that my capacity for talking about them has changed. It is very rare that I speak about either one with anger. Rather, I can state them as matter-of-fact events from a place of neutrality. That doesn't mean that I don't still feel things - quite the opposite. Now, I have the tools to understand the feelings and name what they are, and as such, take away some of the power that they had over me. Does it make it any less shitty that my ex was cheating, or that my father was an emotionally abusive addict? Not at all. However, I can name those things and not feel like I'm going to pop a gasket or feel the temptation to scream to the universe about how unfair life is. I'm grateful for it. It's nice to sort through the craziness in my noggin and give each part the space it needs.
Anyway, off my small soapbox. I hope you're all well.
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