6:51 pm 3/13/26
Things have definitely gotten weird for me. I'm going to give Jennifer a chance. I asked a few of my trusted friends what they'd do in my situation. The majority of them said to give her a chance, but to take it slow. I plan on flying down the last day of May and spending a few days with her.
Four or five of my ten days will be spent with her. I'd like to enjoy some of my vacation on my own in bed before having to go back to work.
And that brings me to my next topic.
I stepped down and transferred to another store back in February. I've been here all a month and my new store lead asked me how am I adjusting? I told her that it's a job and I haven't had a job I didn't struggle with. I just work. I thanked her for accepting me and that I plan on moving up again. She told me there's a team lead position opening up and that I should talk to the overnight coach about it. How does that work with my two coachings? She wanted to know shat they were for and I told her job performance. She couldn't believe it because when I worked for her, I worked. I did 20 hour shifts with her and my days as a team lead where the heavy freight days.
I didn't get that job being lazy. I told her that I open doored them but, they're still there. She said that was weird because my store lead from the store I stepped down, told her that I'm an awesome worker. Make it make sense. I am a GREAT worker. I come in, do my job, and leave.
My coworker said that my new coach told him I'm an awesome worker.
So why did I get two coachings for job performance when I bought up the issues that were causing problems??? It doesn't make sense.
I was hyperventilating when I left. I'm a little scared, but I know I deserve more than this. Does that make sense to anyone? Like you KNOW you're not supposed to be a bottom of the line worker. It doesn't mean I don't want to do the job or that I'm above it. I just feel it in me to lead and be more. To grow. To succeed and not be content with just enough. Understand?
I had this same talk with Jennifer last night. We spoke on the phone for four hours straight and I told her how I felt so down on myself. I worked so hard to get there and then these fat fuck snakes go and tell my boss I'm a bad leader, when I told them multiple times why we were having problems. I just teared up.
Whatever happens, happens. I'll talk to that coach. The store lead said that she'll talk to her and tell her that I should get the chance to show them what I've got. I've got this man!! If I get it. I just know it.
I told Jennifer that I'll be able to visit every other weekend if I do get it.
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