In certain “nerd spheres” today is MARIO day. Because if you take an abbreviation for March (MAR) and the numerals for the day (10) and put them together MAR10… it looks like the word Mario. Now… this is funny in its timing because there are two other “holidays” coming up.... March 14 and March 17. Sure, everyone knows “St. Patrick’s Day, of course” but some may be scratching their heads as to March 14. Likely not many who read me as we all seem to be on the same level of nerd, lol. Pi Day is March 14. Because when expressed numerically March 14 is 3.14.... the first, tiniest glimpse into the number we call Pi. I have not endeavored to memorize vast chunks of Pi; but I always hold 3.1415926 close. According to a study I remember reading in the 90s, that tracks. Phone numbers, it said, were 7 digits because 7 digits was the easiest amount to memorize. I’m curious if that still tracks in today’s attention span and non phone number memorizing world!
But back on topic- MAR10
There is a bar in I live in a “metropolitan” area, of sorts. Two towns that almost overlap. Within those towns, not surprisingly, are specific regions. For example… the town where I live? Has the posh part (a few blocks close to where I live) the Downtown Part (a few blocks from where I live: where I work) and the “Ghetto Part” (the vast majority of housing in the area where properties are falling apart and violence never goes down.) The other town has The College Part (the university area including businesses and homes nearby), the Historical Downtown District (where the beautiful historic landmark theater where I performed my last show is located), the Residential Area (the suburban homes areas), and The Eastern Bloc (the part where other town bleeds into my town so they consider any of the “bad” element to have “infiltrated” from us). NOW… with that in mind, I can begin-
There is a bar in the Historical Downtown District of other town which I often consider going to on my own. I’m not one for the bar scene typically, especially out here. The College Hill Bars? Yeah, I will go to OCTO to support friends who are performing stand up there but that’s about it. I don’t want to be frequenting the bars where the 19 year olds are. It would be bad enough if the College Hill Dance Clubs were still there; but ALL of the dance clubs from when I was in school are gone. The Dance Scene died and everything is bars now. So… just… hanging around a bar, drinking, around mostly 19 to 24 year olds.... I shudder and cringe even imagining it. And the Bars in my town? Where do you think so much of the crime I prosecute comes from?! MOST OF IT comes from the bars either in the Downtown Part or the “Ghetto Part”. So, no. The bars in the Historical Downtown District? Well… I suppose that’s a maybe. When I drink with theater friends, that’s always where we go. But… the bar we attend after Opening? barely fits ten people total and is only ever staffed by one person… so it can take 30 minutes or more to get a drink at all. The bar next door to that one? Keeps its music at 30% louder than any other bar in town as its aesthetic. Like… that is a branding choice they made to stand out. Playing their music so loud it becomes the reason people leave. There are multiple restaurants and bars in this Historical Downtown District but.... there are only two bars (meaning do not serve food) that aren’t patently offensive and wouldn’t be woefully out of pocket to attend solo. One is a Martini Bar… the same Martini Bar Hermia would often wish to visit, so… connotations. The other is an Arcade Bar. The last time I went to this bar (and the first time) was with the Rocky Horror Show crew when we were doing Cast Bonding. It… didn’t go great as a bonding activity but I was able to experience the bar and compare it to the numerous Arcade Bars I’ve been to in other places. It wasn’t perfect.... wasn’t even brilliant.... but it’s the only Arcade Bar (or Arcade at all) for 50 miles.
I’ve often considered popping in there. But I’ve always stopped myself. First of all… it’s the bar scene… average age, I’m sure, is closer to 25 than 45 so that.... doesn’t sound like an environment for me. Second of all… if I went there to “potentially flirt with women” that’s… a laugh on too many fronts. EVEN supposing I had ANY game whatsoever… most of the women in that place were brought there by their boyfriends or roommates. Group or Partner experiences default. So, it just seems to me, that the only reason to go there would be to… enjoy the atmosphere.... see beautiful women that were too young and too taken… pay for expensive drinks and play stand up arcade games. But occasionally, there will be some EVENT that makes me strongly consider even more.
MAR10 has an event. It isn’t wild but.... a place I’m tempted to go to doesn’t need a lot of added incentive to increase that temptation. They are doing a special on boneless wings, half off Mario-themed mocktails, and discounts on all Mario games. As I said- not a wild deal but merely a hint of added incentive. Now… I have rehearsal tonight. I’ve been feeling under the weather. And it is a TUESDAY. So, I don’t see any reality where I actually “head to the bar” after rehearsal tonight. In fact, considering me, as unlikely as I am to go to the bar after rehearsal is exactly how likely I am to go to the dog park after rehearsal. But it makes me spend thought power on… just… that whole world!
Were I still in my 20s? I wouldn’t hesitate to go to a bar, especially an arcade bar, to play games and keep my head on a swivel. In my 30s- I’d be more focused on the games, sure, but I wouldn’t even ask… I’d just make sure to schedule things for my comfort. But at 40?
In fiction… 40 year olds meet in specific places.
“Oh, our kids play the same sport! Do you want to grab a cup of coffee after the match?”
“Oh, I know you’re my son’s teacher, but could I take you out sometime?”
“Uh, I know we work in the same office but I’d love to take you out if you were open to it.”
Forty year olds, it seems, only meet available people through Work or through Their Children. Which freezes me right out. We did start seeing “divorcees meet up via dating app” as early as 2005 but we know how that’s going for me already and I don’t need to reiterate more than I already have. So… I look at BAR EVENTS and wonder… would I be the creepy 40 year old perving on 20 somethings.... would I be the nerdy loser who just solo plays video games all night not talking to anyone… is there a way to make this a world where I don’t even have to contemplate these choices?
Well a few hours after writing this… it appears Rehearsal tonight is cancelled. As is rehearsal for Wednesday and Thursday as they need to “make sure the set is safe”.... which considering the show makes some damned sense! BUT (of course) instead of me seeing this as a sign from God that I should go to the bar (lol, perish the thought!).... I see it as a sign from God to heal! Get some meds at the grocery store, take the dog to the Dog Park, then stay home taking care of yourself. Maybe run through your solo concern several times as Saturday will now get here with less practice. But yeah- focus on trying to heal. Trying to improve. Maybe take some extra time to schedule things out for the week now that I know a little better what it looks like.
So, Nala and I hit the dog park. And were there for a while before any other people or dogs showed up. And then I got a great example of what I was talking about above (that really triggered/tickled the Two Face brain).
There were two girls that entered with energetic dogs. I didn’t get a close look at them; I was watching my dog and their dog because DOG SAFETY is key at a DOG PARK. However, there was another man that was at the park, too. He was likely older than me… if he was my age or younger, he had certainly lived a very hard life… walking around with a lit cigarette dangling out of his mouth. An entire aesthetic that screamed “My definition of tough or sexy man was built by James Dean and Marlon Brando in the 1950s and 1960s.” Ignoring his dog, as he had since he arrived, he sauntered up to the girls and in the most “I’m putting on an act of what I think a sexy guy sounds like” voice asked them their names and ages. Like it was a fucking chat room from 1996. The one that wasn’t instantly creeped out responded not with her name but with her age (26). The guy made a joke about how it was hard to tell on her exactly how old she was as she looked “pretty young” (said with emphasis to highlight that he found it a positive). She did the nervous laugh and said that she gets that a lot, people usually guess her age between 16 and 28. He continued to chat them up and the dynamic was quickly established. The quiet one was creeped out and didn’t want anything to do with the guy; the chatty one even started sounding pleased for the attention! It was about to rain so Nala and I left; but the whole time I was thinking (thus the Two Face Brain comment)
(1) That guy is exactly what I DON’T want to be. He didn’t care that they weren’t there to entertain him or to chat him up. He saw “cute person who appears to have XX chromosomes” and that’s as far as his brain analyzed! Imagine trying to troll for girls 15 or more years younger than you are!! And to do so while they are relatively alone at a dog park feels especially creepy! I was genuinely revulsed by the whole damned thing.
(2) That guy is doing exactly what I NEED to start doing. Stop over thinking, stop trying to be considerate of others, stop trying to contemplate whether it is appropriate or not and just… approach cute girls. Wherever you see them. Whether they are interested or not. Whether they are of an acceptable age or background or intellect or not. You aren’t exactly in a position to play Etiquette Cop and the America of the 21st Century doesn’t give a shit about Etiquette anyway! You’re a lonely guy. Whether it was an overture for sex or just trying to meet new people, who gives a fuck?! You should have gone over, introduced yourself, asked about their dog… done the friendly thing. Because you need and want to foster more connections with people that you see who AREN’T criminals! And sure… if something develops romantically or sexually, that’s always a bonus. But… you should be doing what that guy did and stop overthinking everything.
And thus… Two Face and why I typically do nothing. CREEPY OLD MAN or LONELY GUY MAKING CONNECTIONS… either way, it is more respectful to simply say nothing and not interrupt someone’s day. Which further demonstrates the relative hopelessness of me ever finding someone, doesn’t it.
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