"Is This Really Happening?" Friday, September 09, 2005
I went to C's apartment last night. I wish I could explain how what C has brought to me... to my life. With all the waiting I have done and all the horrible relationships I have had, when I look or just hear his voice, I can't help but think, "Is this real? Is this really happening to me?"
He's so wonderful. He's everything I have looked for. I can't believe I found everything I have ever wanted combined into one person. (and I do mean it when I say don't believe it) I am seeing it. I am experiencing it. I am feeling, hearing, sensing all of it. And yet, I wake up and go to sleep every day and every night saying, "Is this for real?" I feel I deserve the best. I really do. I also think that I am somewhat selfish for believing that. However, as hard as I try to accept that this is happening to me, I just can't. It's just too good. I never imagined that I would ever have a man like this is my life.
Last night was completely perfect. We watched a movie and ate pizza. Then he got jumped up off the couch and turned on his turn-table. He has like 40 records and while I laid on the couch he played me songs off of a record player! He had Jesus Christ Super Star, Joseph the Amazing Tech. Dream Coat, and so much more. I was actually listening to Joseph on the way there and then he pulled it out of his record collection. Amazing. Then he asked me to lie back on the couch for one of the last songs, in which he put on some classical with a full choir singing. We both just laid back on the couch listening to the sounds of the music and you have to admit, there is just something about the sound of a record player that is so ... I don't know... sooo nice.
It was a short night, being that I got there around 7:30 PM because I had to work, then had to leave by 8am to get to work. However, the night was still perfect. Then in the morning he set his alarm for 630am and got up. I laid in bed and whined a little cuz i didn't want to get up. Then he came back to bed and laid back down. We cuddled and fell back to sleep and I woke up around 720am. I got up took a shower, got ready for work, and went back to him kissed him held him and then he walked me to the door. When I got into my car I found an envelope that had been tucked into my purse. That sweet, kind, wonderful man had put 30 bucks in that envelope to pay for the gas to get there. I didn't have to ask. I didn't have to suggest. I didn't have to because he just did it. (that's what he did when he got up at 6:30am)
There are some moments that I am so... I don't know the word to put here... ???? with C that I get tears of happiness in my eyes. I feel week. I feel faint. My heart skips beats. I am telling the world now. I am falling for this man. I am falling hard. That scares me. I feel I may set myself up for disapointment. However, I must tell myself to enjoy this while it's really is happening. If it doesn't work out, at least I had him in my life and I now know what it feels like to be pampered and respected. I finally got to feel as though my life is a fairy-tale.
Her
Leave a Note
:) [Solitary17] 9/10/2005 1:14:00 AM
Solitary took the note right off of my keyboard. :(
I'll say it anyway.
:) [JKD Student]
9/10/2005 1:15:28 AM
I can completely relate to that last paragraph.
[enchanted.]
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