February 15, 2026
OMG sooooooo many things I forgot to write about in my entry yesterday. How could I forget these things? I mean, this is what happens when I don’t write regularly. But I’m going to try to hit on some of this now:
5-Year Cancerversary: February 4th marked 5 years since I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Now, some people use the date that they were declared cancer free, but I use the date that I was diagnosed because it was such a monumental and pivotal day in my life. It’s the day everything changed from “before I was a cancer patient” to “actual cancer patient”. That day is HUGE. February 4th also happens to be World Cancer Day, so there is a lot of information and chatter going out on socials that day. I like to use that day to raise awareness and emphasis just what a fucking bitch cancer is. Anyway, Feb. 4 is a day I always reflect on what it felt like to wake up from my colonoscopy to a doctor telling me that he found a tumor…a large one…and they’d need to do surgery. It was a shock to my system, my psyche, my soul. I will never be the same and I always want to commemorate that date with something. So I did on Instagram, and I’m doing it again here.
New Surgeon: On a related note, if you’ve read a few entries back and remember I am having all kinds of issues with my marketplace insurance (aka. SHIT insurance). The good news is, I now have my follow-up colonoscopy scheduled, and it’s with a VERY reputable surgeon who’s in the same group as my HOT surgeon who found the cancer. I had a face-to-face meeting with him the week before last, and I’m glad it’s with this guy - another kind of cocky, older gentleman who’s super confident and is pretty darn sure this will be a routine colonoscopy. In fact, I believe they have marked this one as “diagnostic” so that it won’t have to be included in my “cancer treatment” and therefore, I shouldn’t have to pay [too much] out of pocket for this butt check. Fingers crossed anyway. I do have a very good confidence level in this man, even though my insurance requires me to have the procedure done in a “lesser” facility. Doc assured me that the equipment is exactly the same, the procedure is exactly the same, and he will treat me in the exact same way he would in a “premium” facility. It’s just that our fucking GOVERNMENT treats marketplace insurance as inferior and the facility is a place where people who don’t have insurance go and can pay completely out of pocket for the procedure. It’s weird and our system is fucked up. I will say this until I’m off this fucked up marketplace crap insurance. Anyway, I’m glad I pushed for this doctor and not just any rando from the system. Good for me. And good for my colon.
Staying With Marce: Marce is my good friend. She used to be my boss when I worked for a giant corporation, and we soon became fast friends during that working relationship. We have been friends for about 30 years now, and she has come to my rescue probably a million times during my wild ride of a life. She let me stay with her when I had to go back to [former city] and take care of a bunch of business during the first week of February…the contract manufacturer, the colon surgeon, the loft viewing, etc. and I’m grateful. She’s also going to let me stay with her during the whole colonoscopy ordeal next month. Thank goodness! She’s going to let me do my prep at her house, she’s going to drive me to and from the colonoscopy. I owe her big time!! She’s retired and is now living a very interesting life, but she cracks me up half the time. She divorced her scumbag alcoholic husband (who hurt someone in a drunk driving accident), and she’s out there dating more kind of dumb men. She’s had this truck driver boyfriend for years now who doesn’t treat her right. I feel badly for her, and yet, it’s probably the best thing for her because she has no desire to ever marry again, but these two are funny together. I think they both have avoidant attachment styles. ANYWAY, that’s not really what I wanted to say. I also see a little bit of clumsiness happening now with Marce, and I’m a little worried about early onset dementia sprinkled with a touch of alcoholism topped with some injury-related issues. She’s starting to fall down a lot. AND, there’s always a funny story when I go visit. This time, it was about her daughter, who she clashes with a little, but loves dearly. The daughter can be very judgemental of Marce. But the daughter is in love with this super sweet guy and it’s probably “the one”. Marce wanted to pass down an heirloom ring that her daughter and boyfriend could use as an engagement ring. It’s stunning and just so perfect for the daughter. They had it resized and also re-plated in gold (I think it was platinum and they wanted a gold finish - I saw the photos and it is absolutely gorgeous). But. After all the resizing and fixing and upgrades, Marce went to pick up the ring, had dinner with her other daughter, showed her the ring… and immediately LOST said ring and it’s nowhere to be found! She and her other daughter have looked, filed police reports, asked the restaurant manager and staff to please be on the lookout, and they think it’s gone forever. The latest drama was having to tell the other daughter! Ugh. Bless all of their hearts. I can’t even imagine. It’s always some drama with her, and I’m here for it!
The Erotic Podcast: While I was staying at Marce’s and trying to help her devise ways to let the daughter down easily, we spent hours and hours chatting and analyzing things, and I needed to ask her what she thought about something. A few years ago, I met a guy who is a cameraman with one of the major TV networks, among other things. Super interesting guy who travels all over the state covering local and national events with news crews. He and I met through a producer friend of mine. This guy and I hit it off and went on a couple of dinners together when he would be in town covering events, but since he lives in a city several hours away, things never really clicked with us. And there were a few occasions where I knew there was going to be coverage of something happening here and I’d ask if he was going to be in town. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but he ended up ghosting me. Fine. No biggie. BUT recently, he’d opened up communications and sent me a couple of messages, one of them being about a podcast he’d created, and he wanted me to give it a listen and let me know what I thought of it. He sent me the link. I started to listen, but realized very quickly that this was a super erotic podcast that read like a penthouse forum article! Like, lots of talk about “cocks, wet pussy, shafts, sucking, fucking”, etc…the whole nine, ya know? I was like…huh? Why would he send me this stuff? And he kept reiterating that it was VERY REAL! That all of his stories were things that actually happened during his relationships with three different women. I’m still puzzled! Why would he send me that stuff? I never told him what I thought of it. I’m still very confused. He’s never made any moves on me - I just thought he was a super nice dining companion. What could it mean? I just thought it was super random and weird.
Recent Newsworthy Events:These things should probably each have their own entries because they bring up a LOT of feelings, thoughts, emotions with me. I want to write them here while I’m thinking about them because I think maybe I’d like to flesh them out a little more. But these are some of the events that are hitting me or have hit me recently. Food for thought:
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The Olympic bronze medal winner who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend to the whole world on international TV: he reminded me sooooooo much of SexyPants crying to literally everyone I knew at the time. Those were crocodile tears. I wish I could have been as strong at the time as this guy’s girlfriend who simply said, “that’s hard to forgive,” even with a global declaration. GAH.
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Nancy Guthrie: OMG! What is going on here? At first, I was glued to any and all media talking about this story because Savannah Guthrie feels like family to me after watching her for years and years on the Today Show. But now it just feels like a bungled fucking MESS. Who is in charge? That sheriff deputy guy is fucking Barney Fife! What is happening? It’s been now, what, two weeks and they still don’t have a lead? They keep finding things on the daily, hourly, moment by moment. And yet…nothing?? It’s horrifying to think that you can get into your mid-80s and yet you STILL have to worry that harm might come to you? That poor woman deserves to rest! And maybe (hopefully not, but…) rest in peace?! I’m angry at what I’ve seen!
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The Epstein Files: OH MY GOD this deserves multiple, multiple entries, but it all boils down to this feeling I have. Powerful people (not all, but it feels like most) sell their soul to the devil. Powerful people think they are above the law. Rules do not apply to them. They can take whatever they want. They become INSANE with this weird sense of entitlement and that includes any and all power over others. Young women and girls and boys and children do not understand this. And that’s what makes them the BIGGEST targets. And sadly, this sense of power happens at all levels. It’s not just the richest of the rich (though in Epstein’s case, that’s exactly what it is), but I remember…back in my memory as a young girl, there were predators around me. I remember them specifically!!! I know their faces and I even remember some of their names. And even as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been put in very, VERY dangerous positions by The Man. I take these allegations seriously because I’ve been there! Especially being in the fashion industry at the beginning of my career, but even as I’ve gotten older in other professions, it is there - this power thing. Every business trip I’ve taken has had an element of disgusting PIG behavior by the people in “power”. So much more to say, but I at least want to get this little bit out because I’m watching. Not obsessively because I’ll go crazy, but I’m present.
Now. Gotta go walk all this off with the dog…
xox,
GS
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