I got this idea from here
To: William Forbes aged 10
From; William Forbes aged 23
Hey, how are you? This is you from the future. It may seem hard to believe, but it is true. I’ll prove it. I know you have a habit of dropping toast down the back of your bed instead of throwing it in the bin. I also know that bought an old record player for about 30p at a jumble sale and hid it in one of the cupboards under the bed so that your parents did not see it. That proof enough?
The reason I am writing this is to give you some advice to help you prevent making the same mistakes I made. So let’s get on with things.
1) Become a cynic. Now. Yiou will become cynical in the future, so this will help you save time. Also, you will be bullied throughout secondary school and your cynicism will help you cope with it.
2) When you leave school, tell your parents straight away, not the day before you are due to go back. When your mum insists that you cannot leave because you are not 16 yet, point out that your birthday is later on that month and, if she makes you go back, you will just wait untill then and leave.
3) When choosing a college course, do not pick Computing. Yes, you will make a couple of good friends, but you will drop out of the course. By not choosing it, you will save time.
4) Around this time you will start going out with Kelly, who will then leave to move back down to Surrey. When she finally finishes the relationship you will be tempted to write a nasty letter. DO NOT SEND THIS LETTER! If you do, you will find out later that it hurt her. Although this is the intention, this bit of news will upset you.
5) Do not go for the job at the fish processors. You will only quit three weeks later.
6) When you make an appointment to sign on the dole for the first time, do not arrainge the appointment for your 18th birthday.
7) For your 18th birthday, make arraingements to go out. Plan a party. Do not do as I did and merely ask some friends and your girlfriend round to yours. It will only end in tears.
8) The girlfriend mentioned above, Joanne. When she calls an end to the relationship, do NOT try to get back with her. Trust me, at the time you may want to, but it will save you so much heartache in the future. You cannot begin to imagine how much.
9) When you get to university, do not get into trouble financialy. This will save a lot of hassle.
Now for some more general advice.
10) New Kids On The Block are not that good. Start listening to rock music.
11) Do not lend Lewis your copy of The Beach. You will not get it back.
12) Start watching Sci-Fi programmes.
13) You will become a huge film fan. Start now.
14) Don’t let your self confidence be eroded. Crying in nightclubs may help you discover who your friends are, but it does nothing to make you look good.
I hope you will follow this advice. If you do, you will not be what I have become.
Yours sincerely,
William Forbes.
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