31.If it’s a self-service station, the cashier hears an annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP… when you lift the gas nozzle and push the lever up. The cashier is supposed to look outside, take note of the car and the driver, then hit the Validate button so you can get your gas. Walk up to a pump, out of the cashier’s view, hide behind the pump and push the lever up. The cashier will go nuts trying to figure out why the console’s beeping if there’s no car out there. Go from pump to pump doing this until the cashier comes out to say, “Hey…cut that out.”
32.Okay, this is a good one I’ve always wanted to try. Go to one of those personalized license plate booths in the mall. You know, the one’s where you make a plate ILUVYOU for your girlfriend to hang in her room. Find out what the cashier’s license plate number is or, failing that, find out what his mother’s license plate number is. Attach this plate to the front of your car and pull in to get some gas. Make sure the cashier can see your license plate very clearly. Fill up your tank with Super Unleaded. Make sure the cashier is watching, get in your car and slowly back out of the parking lot, giving the cashier’s reflexes time to kick in so he can find a pen and write down your license plate number. Have a friend hang around the store to watch the fun next. See, if the cashier doesn’t get a plate number, then he’s in a lot of trouble. When someone gets gas and doesn’t pay for it, the cashier has to call the police and fill out a report and everything so he doesn’t get a disciplinary write up. The cop will want to know the make of car, the plate number and a description of who was driving. (A good idea is to wear a cap and glasses, not that a cop is any real threat.) When the cop runs the plate number through he’s going to come up with the cashier’s name (or his mom’s) and we’re all in for a lot of confusion and fun. I have no idea what the outcome would be.
33.At full service station, pull up to the pump and make sure your gas tank is on the opposite side as the gas pump so the gas attendant has to manage to get the hose on the other side. If he says you have to turn your car around say, “Aw, it’ll reach, I promise.”
34.Also at full service, if you’re needing unleaded gasoline, pull up so your gas tank is about four feet past the unleaded pump. Tell the gas attendant you want five bucks unleaded and go inside. This is a pain in the hiney for the gas attendant because he’s so far away from the pump that he can’t see when he’s up to five bucks. Usually they end up pumping a little, running over to the pump to see how much left to go, running back and pumping a little more, running back to check again, etc, etc…Piss him off more by saying, “Hurry it up a little, willya?”
35.Most every gas pump I’ve seen can be locked with a normal padlock. Go in the store and shoplift as many Master padlocks as you need. Bring them out- side and lock up each one of the pumps. Since the average gas station doesn’t have a pair of bolt cutters on the premises, nobody will be getting gas for the rest of the night.
36.Gas stations have to take daily gas readings by sticking a really long pole into the the ground where the big underground tanks are located. You can find these poles somewhere around the outside of the building or by the dumpster and there’s usually several of them. Take them all and the station won’t be able to take the daily readings anymore.
37.Get in your car and drive a few blocks from the store. Floor it towards the store and try to get up to 90 M.P.H. by the time you hit the parking lot. Smash directly into a gas pump, blowing up the pump, the car and killing yourself. Try to enter the parking lot at the right angle so after you smash through the pump you’ll crash through the store’s front window and into the cashier, killing him too.
38.Pick up the gas pump nozzle, squeeze it and hold a match in front of it to create a flame thrower. Burn all of the nearby customers to a crisp and try to set the store on fire before the cashier hits the Emergency ShutOff switch. (Can you tell I’m running out of ideas?)
Will
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