I have felt like death warmed over for quite a while. Vomited yesterday morning. But I figured out the common denominator with the instances of being sick. Unfortunately, that issue is Ambien. The morning after I take it, I feel like I have the worst hangover imaginable- headache, weakness, nausea and vomiting. So no more Ambien for me.
Therapy today was fruitful. I always get SOMETHING out of it, but today felt like a mini breakthrough. She wants to start working on past trauma using a technique called the Trauma Narrative. I will write a narrative about one of the many traumatic events I have experienced it. Then I write from the perspective of a child explaining it to an adult, and then the adult in me responds to the child me. I hope that makes sense, lol.
This morning, I was messaging with a younger gal I met through my abusive former roommate. We had an instant cosmic connection when we met, and while she is 20 years younger, I have taken on the role of aunty. She texted on her way to court. She had gotten a DUI, and was going to court to deal with it. She messaged, needing support, so I did my best to keep her calm, while also letting her know that this was a growing point. A crossroads. She’s had a very tough life- born into gang activity in Compton. Her father was killed before she was born. She is BRILLIANT smart, and started college at 16. Her mother died when T was 24. She is going to turn 30 in March. She was shunned by her extended family because she she was in college, and bettering herself, and her family members felt that she thought she was above them.
She inherited caregiver duties for her uncle, who is schizophrenic. He is difficult at the best of times, and out of control and violent in the worst. Also living with her is an ex boyfriend, who pays no rent and takes advantage of her. Today, I drew a line in the sand, and asked her to step over and join me.
She messaged from court to say that she avoided jail time, but will pay a fine, do community service, go through a deterrent program, and she cannot drive. I told her she got off lucky.
Here is your crossroads. Get your shit together, look for a way to move to Los Angeles, WITHOUT the ex, and we’ll look for resources for your uncle. Public transit here is pretty extensive, and she would have no problem getting around.
I was as gentle as possible while I kicked her ass. She sent video messages thanking me.
I am hoping we can find a way to get her here for a weekend, just to hang out. She needs a little acceptance and love right now. I think everyone does.
I am going to spend the rest of my day coloring in an anxiety coloring book while watching Shetland on Brit Box. Later, I will make a chicken salad, just like last night. Tonight, I am going to make corn pudding with a Jiffy cornbread mix and sour cream. I am looking forward to my evening with the hubby.
He is having a hard time at work. The owner of the company is notoriously an asshole. I think he might be a narcissist from everything Rick has said, as a long time employee and friend. Anyway, he is micromanaging Rick, and saying snide things to him. If we didn’t NEED the money, I would tell Rick to quit. The company is a revolving door of the most talented artists in LA, and the owner can’t keep anyone on because he is SUCH an asshole. Rick comes home exhausted and defeated.
He did get a call from his former boss at the marionette theater. They have an outside project they need him to design and have 3D printed. The money is always good. Hoping our financial situation improves very soon.
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