I feel like I am enveloping into myself and disappearing. And no one seems to notice.
It’s hard to feel like much matters. There’s just me. In the apartment, day after day. I take a walk daily if I can, but that’s it.
Bed to couch, couch to bed. Never feeling even ok. My everyday baseline is pain, extreme fatigue, and stomach issues.
I write here and one person reads. I put tons of effort into projects that no one will ever see, IF they are ever completed. I put myself out there on social media and get ZERO engagement. I am a photographer and offered free portrait sessions, and got not one taker.
I told my therapist that not a whole lot matters anymore. I am not suicidal, but I am definitely not ok.
I am going to ask Rick to get me out of the house today.
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