Dear God,
I’m about to get ready to head to Burbank Airport on my way to Las Vegas. Please let me have a smooth, safe trip. Help me know what to pack and what to leave behind. Give me clarity so I don’t forget anything important.
I know I should get up now. Poor Shervy said, “It’s time to get up,” and I yelled back, “No it’s not—I still have ten minutes!” I should be nicer. That man is so good to me. I joke that I’m going to be his sugar mama, but the truth is… one day he’ll find love, and when he does, it will probably break my heart.
Shervy is so loyal that I know once he has a girlfriend, he’d never speak to me again out of respect for her. My best friend Paul was the same way—purely platonic. Once he got a girlfriend, he stopped being my best friend to honor her. He used to help me with auditions, and now it feels like he’s walking on eggshells so he doesn’t get in trouble. I hope someday his girlfriend and I can be good friends, and maybe we can all exist together again. But if I’m honest, I know I’ll never have my friend the way I once did.
Shervy once told me I couldn’t just be his friend anymore—either I would be his girlfriend or he would remove himself completely from my life. I chose the girlfriend role. Why? Because more than half of my belongings were at his house, I didn’t yet know how to navigate Los Angeles without him, and I didn’t have the money for a place to stay, a rental car, or stability on my own.
Once he made me feel uncomfortable sleeping at his place, I started renting my own spaces. I think that shift helped him stop pressuring me so I could feel safe around him again. I plan to spend the end of March—or maybe the beginning of February—with him. We’ll see how everything unfolds.
Father, please help me retain everything I need to learn for flight school. Help me remember all the definitions and abbreviations. Help me pass every test so I can become a flight attendant.
And please help me with Christopher, the new social media manager. Please don’t let him search for my past. Let it fade. Let my former name stay buried. Let my past remain in the past. Protect me from all evil, seen and unseen.
Amen.
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