Medical: This one is top of mind today because I just had a follow-up visit with my dermatologist…who won’t take my fresh new Marketplace(™) insurance. Fuckity-fuck. I had a really bad feeling that might happen. What did I do? I saw him out of pocket. They were kind enough to give me a 50% discount because I did give them a sob story - which was the goddamn truth - I can’t afford to pay both Marketplace motherfucking insurance AND out of pocket medical treatment while being unemployed! This country’s system is absolutely out of control! Anyway, luckily, no concerning areas. No pre-cancers. No weird spots. And even if there were, I couldn’t afford to have procedure done like a biopsy. My very kind doc referred me to someone he trusts and highly recommended, so there’s that. But still. Fuck the United States Medical system.
Physical: Good, good leg workout this morning. Now I’m sitting at a coffee shop after my derm appointment and I’ll take a walk around the lake afterI finish this entry. That will be my outdoor workout for the day. I’m working the program, and 2 of the 6 lbs I’d gained when I took my eye off the ball are gone. Baby steps every day. Getting 1% better every day. My trajectory seems to be back on track. I just have to keep going in this direction. Of course, I can have an off-track day here and there, but the key is to get back on course. I know you know this, but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate this to myself.
Career: I continue to by annoyed by this guy dragging his feet on the contract for the BIG project. January is now half over! What is this guy doing? I gave him another little push yesterday, asking him both the status of the contract and the status of the reimbursement of the expenses in incurred during my travels to Tupelo. Talk about a big red flag if it takes a month to get a measly $100 reimbursement, let alone a monthly retainer check.
Love/Relationships: Haven’t heard back from The Eastsider (see previous RAD entry). I feel like my problem might be that in love as well as life, I take my foot off the gas for a bit after a good first encounter. And then the good momentum slows…and then nothing else happens! But honestly, the onus is on The Eastsider because he told me he’d reconnect with me and he hasn’t. Is it possible that he had another coffee date the next day and decided he wanted to take that person to dinner this week? Yep. That’s the challenge with dating. It’s the challenge with business. It’s the challenge with so many things. The question is: how do I make myself irresistible? Unforgettable? Leave people longing for meeeeee?
Dad: The birthday party was really nice. Of course, getting there and getting home was the hardest part (3 hours there and 3 hours back), but once I got there, everyone seemed to be in a good mood, though they were as disorganized and chaotic as ever. We ended up going to a nearby Italian restaurant for lunch, and it was super fun. Mom was even in good spirits (for her)! It’s just SO HARD to get everyone up and out and moving around. Dad is really starting to noticeably slow down, and his broken arm exacerbates that.
Mom: Still with the dementia. I can’t really say it’s getting worse. It is what it is and she’s moving through it fairly predictably. I did hear that she had a bathroom accident yesterday, and that’s a little heartbreaking. Her in-home health care lady is apparently not doing a great job keeping things clean, and now I’m the one who is calling the company to try to get things right. We were able to add care 5 days a week (they’d originally been doing 3 days/week until Dad had his fall). BUT. I was able to accomplish something I’d been thinking about for a while now. Remember how she’s forgotten that she was married and had wedding rings, right? And she was wearing some random ring a couple of months ago? Well, the rings have been found and they were placed in Mom’s jewelry box…but I was still worried they’d get “misplaced” or even stolen since she no longer wore them. I asked Dad if I could take them and keep them for safekeeping, and he said yes. So I have them. They are the only things I’ve been promised from my mom. And I have them in my possession now. I feel a little weird that I have them, but I also know that they were an afterthought to everyone but me. They are safe with me, and I will cherish them.
Bro and Fam: I mean. Yeah. My poor SIL is being such an amazing daughter-in-law, but she feels she can only do so much. My brother steps up to the plate every now and then, helping mom and dad with the dishes and the yard and the bare minimum, but again, I’m so grateful he’s there. He calls me when things happen and keeps me in the loop. I’m grateful for their presence. My niece was being a little dick during Dad’s birthday lunch, but I guess that’s what 10-year-old girls nowadays do? Interestingly, she and my brother seem to have a very special relationship. She would only talk to him during lunch - wouldn’t answer my questions, etc. She just stared at me like a bitch. I told her that my feelings were a little hurt, and she eventually came out of it, but gah, kids can be assholes.
OK. Better get moving with my day. My job hunt isn’t going to do itself. Meh.
xox,
GS
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