As we get near the holidays, I want to make a list of things I choose not to do:
I choose not to badmouth those who have caused harm or wronged me. You know who you are, you know what you did, and you have to live with it. Neener neener. 🤪
I choose not to get too caught up in the commercial madness of the season. Truth be told, I did almost all of my shopping today and it was for gift cards (by request of the recipients).
I choose not to decorate my apartment like FAO Schwarz threw up in there. I have a modest collection of decorations that all have meaning, and I love bringing them out every year. That's enough for me. If I lived in a bigger place, I would consider buying more decorations, but I am happy with what I have.
I choose not to ask for "stuff." I have the means to buy what I want/need, and while I love receiving gifts, they are not necessary.
I choose not to lament things/people who are no longer in my life. It's not easy, but I would rather be grateful for the lessons they taught me.
All the work I've done in therapy has been working. If I look at where I was even two or three years ago, I've done a lot of healing. The "old" me would have wished a lot of pain and hurt on people who I felt caused me harm or somehow slighted me. I'm not saying that it doesn't still sting or flare up sometimes, but I am trying really hard to let my anger go, and I feel like I have been succesful in that regard.
Still, I am no pushover. I can still get raging mad when shit goes sideways. However, I have tools now to deal with it so it's easier to process. I feel like I have a good balance now.
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