Good morning. It’s Thanksgiving and I’m sitting in my kitchen at my little desk getting ready to chug through the morning. I’ll write this entry and then do a longer workout (kinda skipped yesterday, ugh), then pack and get ready to go over the river and through the woods…
Thanksgiving will hit a little differently today. My uncle (Dad’s brudduh) died yesterday. My cousin called me and I then talked to Dad for a little while. He is grieving in his own way. I was thinking a lot about him yesterday. He’s now nearing 87 years old, and his whole family is gone. He’s the last survivor. He also has seemed to be the one who’s lived the most humble life. Bless my sweet dad.
Meanwhile, I asked Dad if Mom understands what is happening. He said yes while we were on the phone, but then he later sent me a message saying, “Mom just came up to me and asked who was it that died, was he close to me? I thought she had some understanding, but apparently not.”
It made me want to cry so badly for him. His support is fading away. He told me the other day that he realizes how much he leaned on Mom for talking through things, and now she just doesn’t seem to understand or care. That has to hurt.
It has to hurt being the last one to see all of your friends and family die. My precious dad who never seemed to show his feelings while I was growing up, has shed more tears in the last five years than I’d ever seen in 53 of my own years. It hurts to watch him navigate these heartbreaks. I love him so much.
I can tell he leans on me now more than ever. I’m happy to be his support now. It’s an honor. As you’ve read over the last several entries, I have become so much closer to and dependent on him as well. It’s a special bond we have, and I’m grateful for it, but it hurts my heart every day.
Okay. I do need to get moving, but I want to see if I can squeeze out five things I’m grateful for this morning:
- Grateful that I have a place to go today to be with family
- Grateful that I can hopefully be a place of comfort for dad today
- Grateful for my precious little Martini, who will come with me and eat turkey that I sneak under the table today (and so will George, mom and dad’s dog)
- Grateful that it’s sweatah and boots weathah!
- Grateful that my freshly worked out body is working properly and I have full mobility and I’m still here, alive and kicking it! I can still dance with joy ❤️
I hope you and your families enjoy your Thanksgiving, if you celebrate. And if not, I still hope you have an amazing day!
xox,
GS
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