4:10pm
Currently sitting in my usual spot in the living room. I’ve got the window next to me cracked open to listen to the light rain outside. It’s glorious!
I was telling EC that I think I have the opposite of SAD because the cold rainy days make me happy. Like I feel so relaxed sitting here listening to the drops coming down. I wish it were like this every day [without flooding of course]. I love sweater weather! I’ve been dying to wear sweaters since like March. The summer honestly depresses me here because it’s like an inferno. I’ve been begging mother nature to just let it get cold enough so that I stop sweating! Ugh.
Finally though! We’ve had about a week of consistent less than 70s. Fully turned the AC off about 2 days ago, which was awesome! Still sleeping with the fan on but both EC and I love to sleep in a cold room. When we vacation [and I don’t pay extra for the AC. sorry, not sorry] we turn it down about as far as it’ll go. Usually like 68. Our house was at 66 this morning so it’s been nice.
Speaking of vacations: we’re headed to Hawaii next month!! Mostly because we always vacation in December but also to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary!! I have seriously been trying to convince EC to go to Hawaii with me pretty much since we started dating. He’s never been into the idea for whatever reason, but I finally convinced him! We found a really good deal and I am so excited. I mean sure, we’ll miss the all-inclusive-ness that Hawaii does not offer, but we’ll survive.
I’ve been to Hawaii something like 3 or 4 times. I can’t quite remember in the moment. I’ve always said how happy it makes me. My soul feels so full there. It’s hard to explain but my spirit illuminates. I don’t think I had any ancestors there but it feels like I did. Just the culture and the peace. It all speaks to me in the same way this rain does. I am so excited for EC to experience it and I hope he has a good time [even if it doesn’t make his soul sing in the same way].
On the other plus side: not having all-inclusive access should mean we don’t drink ourselves silly every day! hah.
We woke up “early” today and I joined him for a trip to costco to pick up supplies for a bbq he’s doing at work tomorrow. He dropped me off at the house and headed to his shop to start prepping stuff. I figured he’d be done by now but he hasn’t called yet. Hopefully soon.
I’m still drinking the coffee he made us this morning. I had to take a break from it because he bought me an orange fanta at the store. That man really does love me. He knows it’s my absolute favorite soda and he’ll roll his eyes when I get one, but still surprise me with one. I got lucky with him!
Sometimes I forget to be grateful for what I have. I wish I could do better at reminding myself that I live a great life. I like to blame the constant pain I’m in for my negative self talk but I don’t know. Maybe the negative self talk is what’s causing the constant pain. Or at least bringing such darkness that takes over my light. Perhaps those few days in Hawaii will help me let the light shine brighter again. fingers crossed
I am not really sure what all I came here to write. I think I was just happy about the rain.
rose.
4:28pm
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