What is Lost, What is Not in Everyday Ramblings

  • Nov. 22, 2025, 5:22 p.m.
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Carlo. The look. I get this every day. Excuse me, the look says, could it be possible you are paying attention to anything other than me? I took this picture on this day eleven years ago. He has refined the look over the years, but it is the same.

I did get a shot of some early blooming pink camellias against a brick wall and one of the 75-foot-tall tree they are installing for Christmas in our town square this week, but Carlo is clearly the center of my small little world. That and a lot of people on Zoom. What is it with meetings, so many meetings. Way too many meetings.

I went to the gym, I taught the in-person class, I went to hang out with the guys on Thursday, and I went to the credit union and grocery yesterday, so I am not exactly hiding, but mostly I had meetings. (not to mention teaching six classes online)

Coffeeshop philosophers, Personnel Committee, Board Meeting, Action Committee and so on and so on and scooby dooby do. That’s from Everyday People, the song from 1968 by Sly & the Family Stone. Oh sha sha we got to live together.

The guys are doing some reminiscing. This all got started because Walt is working on a theater piece thing about the concept of Renaissance and this week he asked a room full of people all 65 or older, but not in a retirement home yet, still active in the world, about our personal renaissance. If we experienced one.

For me the revelation that a renaissance was afoot was that as a girl I could wear pants. I could wear a skirt, but I had the choice for the first time.

When I said this to the room of 12 guys and 2 other women, everybody burst out laughing. It made sense in context.. And one of the other women said, and… only those of us women in the room realize what a big deal that was. And is. The guy sitting next to me said yeah and men could wear skirts. (I don’t think he had any idea how clueless that was.)

I feel this as well when they seriously talk about what it was like to live during the time of the draft lottery. That while I understand what it was like, the lived experience was a whole other ballgame. This is something I witnessed and was against but did not have to confront myself. So, I do get the cluelessness. And yet I know that I don’t know what that lived experience was like and the guys are supremely confident they know all there is to know about…whatever.

This all came up because Walt invited me and five guys to this Coffeeshop Philosophers get together. An actor (and yoga and Feldenkrais instructor), a painter, an art professor, a very well-known poet, a storyteller. The poet and storyteller had other commitments but the rest of us talked for almost two hours.

I had been watching this new Apple TV series Pluribus and wanted to talk about that but no one else had seen it so I brought up some of the threads I thought were being explored and we talked about the broader categories. I don’t know if we will do it again, maybe after the holidays as three of them are going to Mexico for a number of weeks. I was kind of chuffed to be included in the conversation. But also bemused by the whole thing.

But this male/female thing has been in stark relief this week. I can’t believe I live somewhere where the elected president would call a female reporter, “Piggy” in public. And a few days later an incredibly brave female reporter would ask in the Oval Office the Prince of Saudi Arabia about the brutal killing of a dissident reporter. Yes, said president shouted her down but she asked it loud and clear.

It may be bad, but we still have an extraordinary amount of freedom here. At least if we do not appear to be an immigrant, and maybe even if we do. People are still becoming citizens. Our new participant in our dialogue group who was raised in South Korea, lived in Switzerland, Austria and Germany says that as far as she is concerned the only place where people get together once a week and talk about the stuff we talk about and include, welcome even, someone like her, is this place.

My takeaway from that is that all is not lost, even though after a week like this last one it sure feels like it. It truly does.


Last updated November 22, 2025


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