Things in the dark no one ever says in Poetry

I think weird things in the dark
Like 
If I died right now 
You'd never know 
You'd think I ghosted you 
And you would hate me forever 
And I'd be the biggest asshole for ghosting you 
You tell all your friends and they'd say fuck that guy 
You didn't really love him anyway 
And you'd say yeah fuck him,
He must not have ever loved me either
But no one I know knows you or knows to tell you 
And no one you know knows me or knows to tell me 
But you screen my calls 
And don't answer the door when I knock on it 
So what the fuck 
So I turn on the lights 
And try to sleep 
But all I can think now is how big of an asshole I must be