As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said “No Trespassing.”
But on the other side it didn’t say nothing,
That side was made for you and me. — Woody Guthrie
Black Friday and I almost got my whole body outside when I paid the pizza delivery guy. Though it’s been almost a decade, my last few black Fridays in retail I called in sick. I would have just scheduled the time off but it was mandatory that everybody show up; so I called in sick. I realize I’m writing this too late to poison anybodys well with my nay saying but, if on the off chance you’ve decided to check prosebox in the checkout line, pick up some hydrogen peroxide. Sure, you scoff now, you haven’t made it out to the parking lot yet.
They’ve been advertising black Friday and cyber Monday deals for over a week now. I made fun of that the other day, on the less fun and more mundane nit-picking side of things, what incentive does anyone have for shopping on black Friday if the deals start earlier, and, if you can get black Friday deals on-line than what the hell is cyber Monday good for?
Just bitching.
Thanksgiving went well. I’m hoping all y’alls did too.
Childrens choirs across America have been singing the above referenced song for nigh on six decades now, but they usually leave the above referenced verse out. It’s a very catchy song and woody is a beloved folk hero and here in this country we try to leave commie pinko shit out of inspirational songs sung by apple cheeked cherubs well scrubbed behind the ears and pre-frontal lobes.
Ok, so I’ve been watching xfinity online and it has commercials and — shit, you know, I can’t remember the product — this ad where — oh, yewah, North Face — young men and women are doing things like climbing mountains and white water rafting and shit. The ad sure doesn’t suggest the idea of personal property ownership as being non-humane. One assumes the pretty, healthy young men and women paid for a national parks pass along with their North Face Fleece and are not, in fact, trespassing or in some wild unknown country.
I haven’t seen a lot of commercials the last few years. The local lexus dealership has this hazy lens Christmassy ad with a female british voice over that, I swear to sweet baby bejesus, basically says you’ll forget all that sentimental family crap, but you’ll never forget owning a new lexus, a December to Remember. The fuck. Let’s take the family out of Christmas and put the focus back on commercialism where it belongs. And it’s really not like the commercial is planting some evil seed, most of us know what a pain in the ass our families are or aren’t and how nice it’d be to drive a new Lexus. Um, the idea of Christmas ads, though, is to try and talk people into buying expensive shit for others. Granted, most of us are not getting a lexus from grandma, she’s sending the same ten bucks she’s sent since you were 13. Still … Kay jewelers, for instance, always suggests if your husband loves you he’ll buy you diamonds, not that husbands are hard to remember but diamonds aren’t.
Yeah, ok, sitting this close to the computer I’m worried of getting stomped by a cyber Friday black ninja lexus sale. Be safe, drive lexus. The plates reead NoTrsps but the other side don’t read nothing.
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