I was thinking I had put up a similar picture taken from the same window here relatively recently but when I went back and looked it was 13 months ago. Wow. In so many ways my life is the same now as it was then. Same schedule, routines and such, only now I have the extra in-person class. I took this from the clinic where I was for my annual skin check.
So much in my life is the same but so much in the outside world is different after the election. It creates this environment of cognitive dissonance. A few days ago, I had my hearing checked and my hearing aids evaluated, and I had a conversation with my lovely audiologist about the difference between hearing and listening. My comprehension of certain voices has gone down in the last year, but my hearing has not degraded at all.
This is, of course, very good news but a bit worrisome as well as I am distracted so much more by trying to absorb the onslaught of disturbing information, even if I am managing the quantity of said information, what is getting through is upsetting. There is this little trail of indicators throughout my day that I am way more distracted than I used to be.
I can’t blame it all on the change in governance but I can blame a big chunk of it on them. Now, not only do I need to work with all the vectors of aging, I need to rein in and hone my ability to focus and then process effectively what is coming in, when all I want to do is, well, scream.
Our Fall events are back in swing for the League and yesterday we had our first Action Committee meeting for the year. Earlier in the week we had a Unit meeting about our Preschool for All program that we voted for and implemented a couple of years ago. The business community and Governor are complaining that the tax that funds this is enough of a burden on the well-off that we may be losing taxpayers moving into a different county to avoid it.
The meeting I was in was full of people who pay the tax. I was the only participant who had a modest enough income not to. It was quite interesting to hear their perspective on it. It is a hassle, an extra step, something outside the normal tax paying protocol. No one was objecting to the program, and not even paying the tax, but how they were expected to pay the tax. Boy, I hope we can fix that because this program covers about 2,000 kids whose parents make more than the amount required to qualify for federal subsidies (such as they are now) but cannot afford to pay full freight for a private pre-school. And is being ramped up to cover another 1,000 more children.
The Action Committee meeting was about both our crazy fuel hub built on unstable landfill near the river that is subject to catastrophic consequences for the whole area should we have a flood, a wildfire, or of course, an earthquake. Proposals are being made, and the city is going to vote on a mitigation plan early next year. Public comment has been requested. These people on the committee that is spearheading this work are amazing and I truly admire them.
We also had a fellow from The Bird Alliance of Oregon, which is the rebranded local Audubon Society. Something I also belong to. They are actively working on this state requested report on Industrial land in the area and its economic benefits. Business is pushing for more allocations of land for industrial use as they are saying they don’t have enough to supply business that create living wage jobs.
And yet…the whole area you see in the picture above is reclaimed industrial land developed for mostly high-end residential use. There appears to be a disconnect here and loopholes that the developers have grabbed and run with. This area previously contained shipyards and heavy industry. They are talking about building a baseball stadium in this area.
When I focus on these things, these local things, that good people are doing valuable work on that balances out the needs of all the parties involved I feel like I can breathe again. Instead of wanting to throw things.
So, I will hunker down in my own little world and try to be mindful that listening is a skill, and that I can work on it and also on meditation (and rest) to work on focus as well. But also holding the idea of self-compassion close.
It is colder this morning, the equinox-al shift has occurred, and we are ensconced in fall and for today I have no specific obligations to others I have not yet fulfilled. I think I might just stay in my pajamas until this afternoon.
I used to have a yoga mat bag, it was a gift, and I had left it with my mat in the designated storage area at the church in the room I used to teach in. Until lockdown. When I went back last year my blankets and lights were still there, but my mat and the bag were gone. So far, the weather has been fair for my in-person class but this next week we are expecting rain. All of a sudden, I need a mat bag. I do not want to show up for class with a wet mat.
Yes, I ordered one from Amazon. I am human. Refer to self-compassion above. This is the downside of not living with a partner. All this brain space taken up by logistical plotting is a feature. I had to do a whole bunch of this trying to figure out how to get to my audiology appointment on time on public transportation coming from across town and factoring in construction delays, of which there were substantial ones.
Blessedly after that I was able to walk home.
It felt good. It felt free. It felt unencumbered. What a lovely thing to feel.
p.s. Federal troops are on the move here and we are in the process of becoming occupied. I knew it was going to happen but didn’t think it would happen quite this fast.
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