Much ado about Zero in Well now

Donnal will soon be home from her 6-week cruise.
Yay!  (Read that in whatever tone you choose.)

I will not miss the texts and photos she's been sending me on a daily basis.
I'm so glad you're having a wonderful time, but, hon, stop rubbing my face in it.
I do not need to see pictures of breathtaking vistas that I will never see.
I do not need to hear about your fabulous adventures.
I do not want to be reminded constantly that you're off, having lovely leisurely fun,
and I am still here, trying unsuccessfully to forgive you
for your parting instructions on cleaning Dad's toilets and other tasks we normally share without needing to discuss them, 
so that things will be easier for you when you return.

Most of all, I do not enjoy the amount of time and effort it takes me to come up 
with a polite comment to all your texts.
I mean, there's only so many ways to "ooh" and "ahh"
over this waterfall, that eagle, those perfect croissants, that incredibly quaint inn,
especially when I - just - don't - care.

But I must share this one exchange of texts that I shall treasure forever.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Me)
I've forgotten.  Which cruise line are you on?

(Donnal)
Holland America - Our first with them and I'm pretty sure it will be our last, but that's way TMI for a text.  Tell you when we get back.

(Me)
Hmmm - "Details to come..."
I sense a deep well of mischief.
Hope it hasn't been too annoying.

(Donnal)
They ran out of Coke Zero with five days at sea immediately ahead of us!!!
Thank heaven, I had been stocking up some for the cabin fridge, but have been rationing myself two one or two a day because I had only 7 to get me through 5 days of sailing!!! Honestly, I cannot come up with a single excuse for them to have allowed this to happen. They even ran out of Sprite Zero and only had diet or regular Coke to offer. As a result, I've been drinking a lot of mocha lattes (no idea how many more calories in lattes than in Coke Zero!!!). They will definitely hear from me when they ask for feedback at the end of the crews!!!