There is this really good book I’m reading called “Duma Key” by Stephen King. It talks about south FL. in the areas I am very familiar with but Duma Key itself is totally fictional. Anyway the main character had a bad accident and he is on this key painting on his way to becoming an artist. There is alot of good sayings in this book and one that I became attatched to is “My Other Life”.... so fitting. Like an “Ah-Ha” moment. It fits me to a “T” and it’s what’s happening now to me.
The buyers of the house backed out - this a.m. My realitor texted me ( gee thankyouverymuch) and told me. I knew tho. Something inside me said it was going to happen and it did. Not a surprize but it still sucks. So I spoke to my lovely wonderful neice and she and I came to a conclusion just to move out and move into the apt. that I have been putting on hold for the day my place sold. So I looked at the calander and decided on the 3’rd week of Dec. Start the new year in a new place and have my life go on from there with new nrg and whatever happens happens. I just feel like I’m on a merrrygoround. I gave it my all. I did. I gave and gave and gave. 1 million trees died just because of all the paper work that has exchanged in the last months ( years ). I am tired. So fucking tired.I just wanna feel good again. I just want to take a deep breath and not want to have the sensation of throwing up. Tears sting my eyes so hard. I don’t even have anger - just sadness. Heaviness. It’s only a house. Not even good memories were made here. It’s time to go. It’s time to leave. I’m tired. The fight is gone. Time to move on. Out of all of this least the itch of owning a home is over with. Time to move on.
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