My ex and I had a pretty intense conversation yesterday. He’s hurt I get it but he broke up with me. He wanted this to be over. I did my best to be nice to him because I knew he was hurting. Feeling replaced. But he said you’re so careless. And I lost it and said everything I’ve been wanting to say. It ended in him trying to say things to hurt me. And me just deleting him from Facebook. It’s over done. Move on time.
I’ve been exhausted lately from not enough sleep. I was out until past 1am Wednesday. Had this stupid argument last night that left me in tears and so worked up I couldn’t sleep. My kids have been insane at school lately. I just don’t have patience or energy for anything. No solid plans for the weekend means I’ll spend a lot of time with my mind which never is good for me.
My mind is my own worst enemy.
My friends roommate had a birthday party this evening. I wasn’t invited which is sort of fine but still kinda feels shitty. I’ve been trying to fix the drama between us at work. Like really really trying to be less demanding and offering help without pushing. I thought it was going well but I guess I was wrong. I’m having a hard time making friends and I don’t know how to fix it. Everyone lives in one area so they hang out often. I live 20 minutes from them. I gave up asking them to hang out by me. But they know I’m willing to go to them but I’m rarely asked. So it just makes me question what the fuck is wrong with me? How do I fix this?
Also trying to make plans with the boy has been shit. I understand he has work to do in the mornings and afternoons but really you can’t find time in the evening for a few hours?
Yes I know I sound selfish. And I know if I said this to him he would make it happen. But for whatever reason I’m extra emotional and needy lately. End of period hormones? I dunno. What I do know is it sucks. I’ve slept 4-6 hours a day for a week. It’s now 2am and I’m still awake. Please just let me sleep all of Saturday. Like that would be fantastic. Also if some fairies could come clean and cook for me that would be fantastic!
End rant
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