Ugh. Saying goodbye to these childhood icons this week: Ozzy Osbourne, Theo Huxtable, and now Hulk Hogan! Not that they were anything huge to me during the 80s. Its just that they were household names and figures that we heard a lot about. They bring back a lot of teenage feelings for me.
The 80s for me were a little difficult in that I was a pretty awkward kid who never really fit in. I was average, at best, in looks. I was gangly and nerdy and wanted so badly to be part of the popular kid group, but I just wasn’t. I wanted to be liked by the cute boys, but I was liked by the dorky boys and it made me kinda crazy. I obsessed over Rick Springfield and Shaun Cassidy and Andy Gibb.
I still feel a little like this - especially when it comes to dating and even fitting in with my cool girl peers. I’m still average in looks, though I do feel like the fact that I’m working very hard on my physical and mental fitness, I’m probably “healthier” than 85% of my peers. The beauty thing is clearly in the eye of the beholder, but I can’t help but feel a little knocked down sometimes.
Neither of the two guys I had pretty decent dates with (my last two entries) have contacted me back for dates.
Well, I did have a second meeting with Panama Jack - we went for a walk in a beautiful park in his area last Saturday and then we had coffee, but he hasn’t contacted me again.
And I think that Mercury Mike might be a little embarrassed about our meeting OR just too busy with working on his sabbatical plans OR just dating other women.
I hate that dating apps give us so many choices. Because I am pretty picky and the guys have alllllll these choices and everyone is simply chasing better and better and better.
So for someone who is superficially average in most ways…we get the shit end of the stick. Because it takes time to get to know someone! Don’t you think?! Like, you gotta give it some time to warm up to someone. And it takes time and effort to dig into someone else’s psyche and understand their personality. And maybe I’m saying this to myself as well, ya know?
So I feel like maybe I need some kind of “hook”. Some kind of sizzle factor on a first date - so that I can get past the first and second dates and move to the juicy stuff!
What is it that other people do to get to the third, fourth, fifth, fiftieth, hundredth date? How do they get someone to sink their teeth into them? What am I missing?
I will admit, I never, hardly ever, get the tingles for anyone on a first meet anymore. Especially now that I don’t drink. And that means that I’m not super flirty. And as a Scorpio, I’m a little mysterious. I don’t do this on purpose. But I do think that I might omit things…like…showing interest, maybe? Maybe I’m standoffish because it takes me a little time to warm up to someone?
I wish I knew!
Anyway. Lately, I feel a little like the awkward, gangly teenager with the crazy 80s hair (oh yes I did have that hair!) I used to be instead of the wise, mature, confident and sophisticated lady I’d love to exude.
What gives?
xox,
GS
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