This is my 60th wedding anniversary. I got married three weeks before my 19th birthday. I generally think of it as a mistake. I stayed married until my husband died - 22 years ago? I can never remember the year he died. I remember the day and month - it was right after Christmas. Sometimes I can find his obituary and sometimes I can’t. It feels odd to be so uncertain.
I think sometimes what our lives would be if he hadn’t died. He’s be 84 - that I can remember. I’m pretty sure we would still be married. We’re both stubborn.
Death is this funny thing. I ‘firmly believe’ that we are often relieved when someone dies. The burden of caring for ANYONE before their death is great. Sudden deaths are different. When young or even young-ish people die, it’s different. Our lives change and we have adjustments to make.
Maybe it’s a woman thing. Maybe it’s a woman who married at age 18 thing. There is this sense of freedom after a husband leaves when it’s not your fault and when you get to keep the assets. There’s the old joke about knowing where he is at night. Evergreen Cemetery is a sweet place.
So what would we be doing if he were still alive?
Maybe you can tell me.
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